My man James

When I sat down to do my quiet time yesterday morning, I started reading James. Our pastor told us in church on Sunday that James contains over 50 imperative statements. James doesn't suggest some ideas of what we might want to do with our lives. He doesn't ask us politely to make a few changes. He's a straight shooter. We'd say, he tells it like it is.

I read a verse that blew me away. "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 1:5 NIV

What?!

Seriously?!

I've been trying to figure out for years how to be wise. I've had wise friends and I wonder how they got that way. I think, "I'm book smart, but how do I become more wise?"

And all the while, there was a verse in which I am told, if I believe he will/can, that God will give me wisdom.

I called a friend and told him about this, and that I've now started praying for wisdome. He said, "Of course he will. He already has. How else do you think you found that verse?"

Hmmm...

I just joyed in that verse yesterday and when I sat down to do my quiet time this morning...God blew me away all over again.

"...Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19 NIV

It was like God whispered, "DING DING DING! Here it is!! Here's where you start!"

So, that's what I'm working on. I'm praying that God shut my lips and open my ears.

If you need some guidance (or straight forward commands) in how to live life...or how to love God more than you already do, James is your man.

When I sat down to do my quiet time yesterday morning, I started reading James. Our pastor told us in church on Sunday that James contains over 50 imperative statements. James doesn't suggest some ideas of what we might want to do with our lives. He doesn't ask us politely to make a few changes. He's a straight shooter. We'd say, he tells it like it is.

I read a verse that blew me away. "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 1:5 NIV

What?!

Seriously?!

I've been trying to figure out for years how to be wise. I've had wise friends and I wonder how they got that way. I think, "I'm book smart, but how do I become more wise?"

And all the while, there was a verse in which I am told, if I believe he will/can, that God will give me wisdom.

I called a friend and told him about this, and that I've now started praying for wisdome. He said, "Of course he will. He already has. How else do you think you found that verse?"

Hmmm...

I just joyed in that verse yesterday and when I sat down to do my quiet time this morning...God blew me away all over again.

"...Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19 NIV

It was like God whispered, "DING DING DING! Here it is!! Here's where you start!"

So, that's what I'm working on. I'm praying that God shut my lips and open my ears.

If you need some guidance (or straight forward commands) in how to live life...or how to love God more than you already do, James is your man.

Atrophy in the monotony

Moral Seminar again. Like I previously wrote, that class blows my mind.

"Anyone can acquire an opinion just as one can learn a foreign language or a foreign custom, but only those opinions which are rooted in the character structure of a person, behind which there is the energy contained in his characted, becomes convictions." -Eric Fromm

As I'm sure anyone who read my "Humanistic Conscience" post can tell, this is another 'look inside yourself' post.

In this essay, Fromm goes on to talk about the idea of faith as a character trait, rather than a set of principles one follows. Fromm discusses the relationship between faith in reason and tries to point out that he is not speaking of faith VERSUS reason, but rather faith THROUGH reason.

Fromm points out that both a "rational, realistic view" and a "faith view" are not to be separated but fused together to create a productive person. (See Humanistic Conscience post for contextual definition of 'productive.')

He points out that the presence of both a Reproductive capacity and a Generative capacity is neccesary for a productive person.

Reproductive capacity:
-the ability that allows us to perceive actual reality, in the same way that a film makes a literal recording of the thing that's photographed.
-the ability to see what is there

Generative capacity:
-the capacity for conceiving, enlivening, and recreating something that is perceiving
-the ability to reconceive

These two things are to work together. But...often one is atrophed in people. In our society, that capacity is the generative. This makes for an unbalanced realist that is capable of recognizing things as they are, without being able to liven from within to see what is not yet existant.

This person can see the details (similar to the description of the Pharisees in earlier post) but cannot view the picture as a whole.

The polar opposite of this would be one who is able to construct abstract, imaginative thoughts, but not able to apply them to reality. This person would be considered psychotic, living only from within his own world.

Though our society would easily recognize the latter as "insane," Fromm points out that both are sick. One person has lost touch with reality, but the other has lost what we would consider the basis of being a human being.

Realism is not the opposite of insanity, but its compliment. The TRUE opposite of both...is productivity.

As previously written, the task is not to set about into the wilderness to discover a completely new kind of personal faith, nor carbon-copy that of authority (parent, teacher, pastor)...but to take in what we have seen/heard/experienced, and mold it (through the guiding of the Holy Spirit) to make it our own.

This is when a very important question was posed: Should be ALWAYS submit to authority?

Rational Faith
-firm conviction based upon productive, intellectual (reproductive) and emotional (generative) activity

This is what I believe we should capture. This is the kind of faith I want. I don't expect God to lay out the blueprints for his existance to me. But there are logical ideas that I find comfort in the lining up of. Ex: the bible was written over a vast span of time, by many authors who never knew the other existed, yet it still never contradicts itself. I know many nonbelievers may say this is due to rewritting of the books, but I genuinely do not believe that to be so. Much of this is because my generative capacity has felt such reassurance and trust in a relationship with God that I base my very life on His Word.

Fromm goes on to talk about another very interesting/scary concept.

Irrational Faith
-belief in a person, idea, or symbol which does not result from one's own experience of thought or feeling
-based on emotional submission to irrational authority

He points out that "giving up inner independence in submission to authority results in tendency to substitute the authority's experience for one's own."

Read that last sentence one more time and tell me that doesn't sound like the faith of much of our generation. Beyond that, does this not sound like the same ideas used by cult leaders to draw in followers? It is by the emotional submission to one leader's experiences and the trading of one's own thoughts for authority that even fuels the concept of a cult. That is a scary game to be playing.

People in this position "feel they accept the leader because they agree with his ideas, but in reality they have accepted the ideas because they have submitted to authority."

This reminds me much of relationships I have had with members of authority in churches I have attended. (Youth pastors, bible study leaders, pastors) This is NOT to say we should not respect and trust the authority of the God-appointed leaders of our churches, but rather we should not connect their messages to our hearts with a feeding tube. We don't need to take it all in for criticism, but rather to consider it and truly make it our own before integrating those truths into our own lives. It is when we do this, that the message/s truly change lives, rather than 'fill up' until next Sunday/Wednesday.

It is not just Fromm or me that thinks this is a good idea. "That you may really come to know (practically through experience for yourself) the love of Christ, ehich far surpasses mere knowledge (without experience)." Eph 3:19 Amplified

It is one thing to read about the love of God, but it is another to experience the love of God.

This is what I write to each of you tonight. Do not just read about life...and do not just experience faith. Explore/research/examine your faith. Live your life. Do NOT let part of who you are atrophy in the monotony of daily life. You cannot know real love by reading about it and you cannot experience real faith unless you truly understand it, beyond that joy you feel. Be aware of each capacity. Do not be afraid of one or indulge in the other. Discover and learn who you were created to be and never stop learning.

"That is what learning is. You understand something you've understood your whole life, but in a new way." -Doris Lessing

Overhaul of a toilet/heart

I've been listening to it since the day I moved into my bedroom. I fall asleep to it, and I listen to it like a rambling friend while I'm brushing my teeth in the morning.

Brittanie moved in to the spare bedroom on Friday and one of the first things she said was, "That is going to have to stop."

"What? What's gonna have to stop?"
"You don't hear that?!"

I went to Galen (my boss) and said, "Do you mind if I go up to Lowes and buy a part? The water is running inside the tank of our toilet and its driving Brittanie nuts."

He asked how long it'd been running and I answered, "I don't know. I'm guessing since I moved into the room in September..."

And it wasn't until I was ready for church this morning and sitting on my bed journaling that it HIT me.

How much is this like the things I need to get out of my life?
How often does a friend say, "Whoa! That's not okay" and I just stare back at them like I'm confused or would like to crawl in a hole and die?

Strange as it may sound, I decided to pray that God turn my thoughts/attitude into the same I had when Brit decided the running toilet wasn't such a good idea.

We immediately left for Lowes and during the drive talked about a plan of how to fix it, browsed the plumbing section, bought the gear, and the second we got home I got to work with a determination unmatched.

How often, after a friend pointing out a flaw in the way I'm living my life, do I find wise cousel (prayer) and get together the materials to immediately hop on fixing it?

If I'm being honest with myself, I would say that my attitude is often like that of the one I had before Brittanie said something...

I hear that noise every single night as I fall asleep. I wake up to it. Its a waste of money. And I had become absolutely immune to it.

This is my prayer for the day:

Lord, please change the way I see things. Open my eyes to the little running toilets of my life. To the things I see/do/say every single day without a second thought. I ask for the same alertness that Brittanie had to that running water. Give me a sensitivity to hear those irks and the determination to immediately set about repairing them.

Human Conscience

Seminar of Moral, Ethical, Religious and Professional Issues.

Sounds boring, right? I thought so too...until I spent one day in the class.

Every single time I walk into that class, my mind is blown. My professor has an amazing ability to tie together the science and psychology of morality with the teachings of Christ.
(Try to hang with me through the clarification of a couple terms and it will get good.)

Humanistic Conscience

• NOT the internalized voice of authority (ie: teachers, parents, policemen)
• Requires independent thinking
• The voice of our "true selves"
• Calls us to productive living
• Calls us to develop genuine potentials
• Maintains integrity of personality
  

Productivity is the development of the use of one's God-given, human "powers"

• Power of thought
• Power of love
• Power of imagination

We were told a very interesting quote that inspires me more and more every single time I read it:
"The more productively one lives, the stronger is one's conscience, and the more it furthers one's productiveness."

I believe this concept applies so accurately in the exact opposite way. It is when I/we become lackadaisical that I want to do less in life, and even my walk with God. I start to lose the sense of who I am. (More on that concept in a moment.) Its when I/we fall into a routine of comfort that I stop looking for more in life.

Scribes and Pharisees spent a lot of time studying the Bible...but they didn't seem to get the big picture. In this context, we would say they were not being productive. They desired to follow the exact letter of the Law, rather than put the things in the scrolls into their own thoughts, in the context of love, using their own imagination. Was it because in that sense, they were being conventional? Were they just believing the things that had been believed before them, rather than figuring things out for themselves? Or...in a theological sense, were they not open to the leading of the Spirit?

Erich Fromm (German psychologist in the 20th century) states that the humanistic conscience is necessary for this level of thinking. Fromm also states that it is difficult to hear to humanistic conscience. We must be able to listen to ourselves. He states, we are often able to listen to every voice around us except for our own.

This concept blew me away because Fromm wrote this in the early 1900's. He wrote this before iPhones, DVR, blogs, iPods, podcasts, satellite churches, Kindle...before all of this "noise" was even a forethought. Fromm said that there was often so much noise going on in one's own life that he/she didn't take time to hear his/her conscience. How true is this now, in today's context?

Fromm states that not listening to one's humanistic conscience leads to an unconscious guilt, which often surfaces in the form of anxiety of even physical illness. How many times have I been so busy going going going that I didn't take a second to slow down and listen to the Holy Spirit right inside of me...and ended up quite anxious and sick? (Definitely something to think about)

"If man cannot approve of himself, because he fails in the task of living productively, he has to substitute approval by others for approval by himself." This is a moral issue

How often to I/we turn immediately to a friend or loved one for an opinion on a decision/promotion/break-up/achievement, before we turn to the only One that matters? "You must never worship or bow down to them, for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God who will not share your affection with any other god!.." Exodus 20:5

We serve a jealous God.

Princeton.edu defines "god" (little 'g') as "any being worshipped as controlling some part of the world or some aspect of life or who is a personification of a force."

That "controlling some aspect of life" sounds a little bit like the authority I give to some of my best friends, sisters, and often my mom. It is hard to recall a time I didn't have a huge decision/opportunity and I didn't pick up my phone and call one of those closest to my heart...before taking time to quietly seek my humanistic conscience. (If you haven't picked up on it yet, what scientists call "humanistic conscience," we (Christians) often refer to as the Holy Spirit.)

We can have a word that remains in authoritarian sense. "I receive this word, but it never really becomes half mine. But I still have it." It is a dead word. As opposed to the alternative in which I have seen this word and added my own thought, making it my own. It is dynamic, living, and productive. It produces other ideas and thoughts. Where as the other, it does not...it is just held in its dead state.

This was written by a psychologist, not in a theological/spiritual sense...but in a sense of how one makes information his in an authoritarian conscience sense or a humanistic conscience.

Does this sound anything like the discussion between Christ and the Pharisees about "The letter of the law vs. the Spirit of the law"?

What are the consequences on this (humanistic conscience) not developing?

I know we hear all the time 'make your faith your own.' This is not to say we walk away from everything we learn and start to explore and wander into the wilderness of faith. We are supposed to take all of the things we learned from authority (pastor, parent, teacher, mentor, friend) and shape/mold/form it into our own, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Do we believe these things because they sound good, or because they bring materials and form to allow us, through our own thinking and exploring, make our own relationship with God our own? Our faith is supposed to look a little different than our parents or pastors. If you are a different person than them, the relationship you have with God will look different. It may not be a shocking or dramatic difference, but a difference all the same.

But when the internalization process is incomplete, judgement too continues to rely on authoritative rule and directive, and drives its way through adult authority. It reflects the child's identification but it isn't an independent judgement.

The line of thinking could be summed up in this: "I can believe everything the authority says. I can identify with it, yes, but it is not an independent judgement."

Kohlberg states, rarely before age 20 is an individual cognitively able to sort through his/her thoughts on this level. Shapiro makes the point to reiterate that just because, at this age, it becomes a possibility...does not mean it will happen. In most cases, it does not.

When there is a schism, or split, between humanistic conscience and the authoritarian conscience (what is learned/indoctrinated by authority) that one is not aware of, one becomes an adult who is out of touch with "me." He/she can identify with group or authority, but does not hear his/her own voice.

I pose a question: If I'm out of touch with me, and can't connect with myself, does that have any implications in how I connect with you?

Suppose you and I get married, if I'm not in tune with who I am, how can I connect with you? That poses all kinds of problems.

Though Shapiro did not pose such the question, we were asked to consider: If I cannot connect with me, cannot connect with you...how can I possibly connect with an omnipotent God?

Is it possible for people to connect/identify with religion, but not with God? I think we would all say we have seen this, and often done this ourselves.

Again, the Pharisees did this. They were very in touch with their religion, but when God took on flesh and tried to have a conversation with them, they said, "Who are you?"

Though, in class, we discussed a number of prerequisites that are helpful (some deemed "necessary") for one to develop this sense of being in tune with one's own humanistic conscience...that is not what I write about. As I said, it is around age 20 that one is cognitively able to begin to address these concepts. Now is the time for us to make our faith our own. It is time to step away from the chaos of our lives, not for a retreat weekend, but on a daily basis.

Warning: The eventual side effects of this "disconnect" between a person and his/her own "self" is not something to fluff off. Shapiro says, "An estrangement develops between how a person thinks he feels, and how he actually feels and behaves." Doesn't this sound something like what happens when I/we say that we believe one thing because of our faith, yet we so easily do another? THIS is the disconnect he is talking about. We aren't helpless.

Shapiro also says: Neurotic (a person prone to excessive anxiety and emotional upset) people often think they want or are interested in what they actually only think they should want or be interested in. They believe they intend to do something they actually never intend to do.

Is it possible to only love someone because we feel it is what the Bible says we should do? I have been with this person for a long time. I have said I love them, and told their family I want to be with them for a long time, and even mentioned that marriage is something I want...but I know I don't want it, and I get married anyway.

I will repeat what Fromm already said: This is a moral issue.

I end with this thought. It is something to think about, while we are at the age in which so many people our age are falling in love and getting married.

"I feel like you won't love me if you really see me, so I act like someone I know you will love. While I am pretending to be this person, I am forming a disconnect between me and myself, but seperating my ability to connect to you."

We were made to live in community. We were made to have open honest relationships. With God. With ourselves. With others. It is only in those relationships that we can truly see who we are, and thus begin to connect on deeper levels in all three realms.

¿Puedo obtener un descanso?

(Can I get a break?)

Spanish homework/assignments/papers have been running my life for the past 6 days

The only things that have kept my head about water this week are:
1. Reading blogs
2. Twitter humor
3. Lent
4. God's sovereignty

I have recently downloaded a RSS Reader App for my BlackBerry and it has been heavenly. I can now read entry after entry, regardless of internet coverage. A few I really enjoy are:

http://www.jessieandbailey365.blogspot.com/

http://thatgirlgwen.tumblr.com/rss

http://stuffchristianslike.net/

http://xxxchurch.com/rss/blogs/women.xml


Twitter has also become a favorite past time of mine. I can't promise my tweets are always the most humorous, but I'm getting better. I love the tweet-wars between friends back home that help me feel less homesick.

http://www.twitter.com/shi2803

I am delighted about the Lenton season. I have chosen (by the inspiration of Gwendolyn) to give up eating at restaurants, fast-food, coffee shops, etc. (Basically only eating/drinking out once a week) I am looking forward to a season of looking away from my own desires and focussing more closely on the desires of God's heart. (Something I should do year-round and am now taking an opportunity to focus in on.) Let me know if you are fasting about something I can encourage/pray for you about.

God is so good! He has been opening doors left and right lately. I've been quite astonished by the ways He has made himself known lately. I have seen Him in all the little day-to-day tasks I usually get bogged down by. On of my favorite things about God is the way He pursues us. I cannot sit idly by and just wait for Him to pay for attention to me....it is when God is showing Himself to me that I desire more and more to seek His face.

As always, when pursuing His face, the Enemy has tried sneaking in my head and whispering little lies. I'm glad I am surrounded by friends who can discern that and join me in prayer against such things. Earlier this week, a friend told me, "Feel like you are feeling stressed out cuz your living the right way and trying to love and follow God...and Satan doesn't like it and is mounting up his troops and trying to get you down and feeling less than what you are...a child of God with all the joy in the world!!!!! :)" How could my day/week not be instantly brightened with that kind of encouragement?

Thanks for reading. I look forward to more rambling about God's grace/majesty/power/sovereignty....as I figure out more and more what it means to follow Him wholeheartedly.