I thought I would follow up my promise to blog more by actually doing so. Life has been really good lately. Joey and I just got from a weekend marriage retreat. We went to Oklahoma City (or "The City" as Oklahomans call it) and spent a wonderful weekend at the Marriot, in separate Rooms of course. It was such a blessing to get a weekend away and be able to focus on our future together. Some people have jokingly asked if I still want to marry him after this weekend and I have never been ao such of something in my life. We spent 48 hours asking hard questions and learning tough lessons but the weekend ends with a mature conversation on the way him where we disagreed and loved/accepted each other through the conversation.
(By the way, I'd you're looking for a marriage conference to attend, or a beautiful gift to give an engaged couple, check out www.familylife.org)
Wedding planning has been put on the backburner lately as school and work has been so busy. Joey's mom has also been super duper busy, so we are all taking everything one step at a time. School has been super harsh lately but I have tries to accept that I have to get through the next 7 months and I want to do it well.
If anyone wants to assist in wedding planning and crafts, I am happily accepting helpers. Humbly, I might add. Lol. That's something I am working on. I know not everyone wants to read it, but I amazon in love with the man that God has given me. He is tAking steps every single day to love me more and showing me a beautiful pictie of Christ in the Leslie we learn together. He is making a daily effort to change things of the past and encouraging me to do the same, so we can enter our marriage (7 months from now) with clean hearts and clear minds....as we take on the responsibility of being a mirror thats hinds the love Christ showed for his Bride.
Kep us in your prayers and I continually pray that we will be an encouragement. And inspirationto every one of you we come into contact with on a daily basis.
Thank you for reading (and for joining us through this journey)
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Growing up is hard to do. (but worth it)
Its been about a month since I wrote about Joey's proposal. Oh, what a month it has been! God has been moving in some amazing ways in such a short time.
My sweet oldest sister had a precious baby boy, Liam Benjamin. Due to some crazy committments and car troubles, I have not been able to get home to hold that tiny baby boy. I get to see him in 5 wonderful days and I absolutely cannot wait.
I have gotten to experience the opening of a church in Marshall called Oxygen. Check it out: http://www.letsjustbreathe.org I have been able to take on the responsibility for praying for people every day, and it has been a wonderful learning experience. It is such a blessing to meet with friends (and new people) every Sunday night to worship God and learn about how to share His love with others.
I have gotten to visit Lawton and spent time at the church Joey & I will attend when we get married. It was such a sweet time to see a beautiful old building full of such life. New Haven is so full of life and joy. Every single person there was so kind and loving to me. I cannot wait to be married and attend New Haven with my future husband.
There have also been a lot of lessons learned in the last month. Some I can now laugh at and some are still hard to swallow. But, because I truly believe the lessons I have learned could help others, I will share:
1. "The things you own will end up owning you." That's a quote from Fight Club, a favorite of both mine and Joey's. But it was a reality check after 4 hours of gift registering at Bed, Bath & Beyond. The things we registered for are just that...THINGS. They don't matter. It doesn't matter if we have Emeril or Calaphalon cookware. It doesn't matter what color our sheets or towels are. I will feel comforted at night because I will be with my husband, NOT because of the print or color on the sheets. (Also, if you don't like the stuff, you can just buy new things after a few years.)
2. Grace is difficult. Until I was engaged, I thought I knew about grace. My acceptance of God's grace has slowly started to make an impact on the grace I show Joey. He is loving and kind, but when he fails...I am still called to love him. That is so much easier said than done.
3. Love is good. Its beautiful & changing every single day. It makes me smile to know I will get to spend the rest of my life with Joey. Its not always easy, but its so worth all of the hard work. Every single day, I learn new lessons in love. And I can't wait for a lifetime of daily lessons.
I'm going to start writing more often. (Probably posting a lot about the wedding planning!) FUN!!
My sweet oldest sister had a precious baby boy, Liam Benjamin. Due to some crazy committments and car troubles, I have not been able to get home to hold that tiny baby boy. I get to see him in 5 wonderful days and I absolutely cannot wait.
I have gotten to experience the opening of a church in Marshall called Oxygen. Check it out: http://www.letsjustbreathe.org I have been able to take on the responsibility for praying for people every day, and it has been a wonderful learning experience. It is such a blessing to meet with friends (and new people) every Sunday night to worship God and learn about how to share His love with others.
I have gotten to visit Lawton and spent time at the church Joey & I will attend when we get married. It was such a sweet time to see a beautiful old building full of such life. New Haven is so full of life and joy. Every single person there was so kind and loving to me. I cannot wait to be married and attend New Haven with my future husband.
There have also been a lot of lessons learned in the last month. Some I can now laugh at and some are still hard to swallow. But, because I truly believe the lessons I have learned could help others, I will share:
1. "The things you own will end up owning you." That's a quote from Fight Club, a favorite of both mine and Joey's. But it was a reality check after 4 hours of gift registering at Bed, Bath & Beyond. The things we registered for are just that...THINGS. They don't matter. It doesn't matter if we have Emeril or Calaphalon cookware. It doesn't matter what color our sheets or towels are. I will feel comforted at night because I will be with my husband, NOT because of the print or color on the sheets. (Also, if you don't like the stuff, you can just buy new things after a few years.)
2. Grace is difficult. Until I was engaged, I thought I knew about grace. My acceptance of God's grace has slowly started to make an impact on the grace I show Joey. He is loving and kind, but when he fails...I am still called to love him. That is so much easier said than done.
3. Love is good. Its beautiful & changing every single day. It makes me smile to know I will get to spend the rest of my life with Joey. Its not always easy, but its so worth all of the hard work. Every single day, I learn new lessons in love. And I can't wait for a lifetime of daily lessons.
I'm going to start writing more often. (Probably posting a lot about the wedding planning!) FUN!!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Story (where my boyfriend became my fiance)
The plans I made for my summer were drastically different from the ones God had laid ahead of me. 3 months ago, I was planning on working at a florist in the Houston area while living with my mom. I wanted to take it easy and just have a summer of fun. Todays marks 3 months of officially dating the man I will call my husband.
Joey & I met (a little over) 2 years ago when we both worked at Sky Ranch. I introduced myself to him and when I shook his hand and he said, "My name is Joey," I immediately replied with a typical answer for the girl I was 2 years ago: "Oh, you're going to love me. People named Joey always love me." While I thought this
would make an impression, it wasn't the wonderful impression I thought I had left. (Joey may or may not have told more than a few people that I was crazy and told him he would love me.)
Our friendship grew throughout the summer, as we were in "brother-sister" weekly bible study groups. Joey listened to me ramble through more than a few stories. He also refrained from telling me to shut up, most of the time. Haha. Joey let me ride to Wal-Mart with him the night of his 21st birthday, and just one short car ride and a walk around the store later, we realized how much we had in common. From the very beginning, we were not afraid to be ourselves around one another. We had superficial surface details in common, as well as similar lifelong passions. We began a friendship that would grow into God's beautiful plans for the future. There were a share of crazy moments, as each of us had a lot of growing up to do. It would have been a lie, but each of us would have said we didn't want a relationship back then. Things just didn't seem to ever fall together.
During a mini-roadtrip to Tulsa, OK with a girl friend, I stopped in to visit Joey and watch a Cowboys game. While watching the game, I learned about ice storms, as I was told my Joey's mom that I would have to stay in the guest room and leave in the morning. As Mrs. Duffy & I drank coffee the next morning, I was fascinated with what a wonderful mom she was and how well she loved her boys. There were so many things I saw ini her personality that I hoped I could be as a wife and mother. As Joey rushed me out the door, I looked forward to another chance to visit again.
Our second summer at Sky, we both branched out and made our own separate friends. We talked from time to time, which proved a good picture of God's power in each of our lives. Joey would pop into my office from time to time to crack a joke or leave an encouraging note on my desk. As the summer ended, we wished each other well.
We talked on and off throughout the next year, and when Joey told me he would be enlisting in the army, I was not happy about the idea. He called me one day in April and when I picked up, he said, "Hi, Will you marry me?" This is an ongoing joke between the two of us. The night we went to Wal-Mart, I decided we had too much in common to not get married. From time to time, we make jokes and ask each other if we would like to get married. I replied with the usual: "I'm busy today, but maybe tomorrow would work." We talked about him leaving for basic training and he asked if I would start writing him letters, because it was his only means of communication while in BCT. I told him I would and we talked a couple more times before he left.
My first letter to Joey was about four pages long and laid out all the reasons I loved our friendship, as well as all of the reasons I was against a long-distance military relationship. I (anxiously) awaited my first letter, in which Joey listed so many things he missed about me, our friendship, and a short list of reasons I should consider marrying him. We spent the next 12 weeks writing letters. I wrote every single day and nearly ran to the mailbox hoping for a letter each morning. He wrote as often as he could while training. He would call for a few minutes on Sunday afternoons, and update me on how he was holding up as well as informing me of the plans God continued to lay on his heart for our relationship. (It was amazing to see how God laid out the same plans in the hearts of two people so far away and with no contact but letters.) The end of BCT was coming and I had already arranged to visit Fort Sill in Lawton, OK for the weekend to see Joey graduate and catch up with his family. He called me on May 25th and finally asked me what I meant when I signed my letters "I love you." He told me he loved me too and he knew this was where God wanted us to be. I went to Lawton to see Joey graduate, never so proud to see a group of soldiers in my life. Tears well up in my eyes every time I heard him talk about God's calling for him to serve in the U.S. Army. He has such pride in the commitment he has made to serve.
He went to AIT (still at Fort Sill) and we continued to grow and discuss where God was leading this. I had no doubt in my mind, this was the man that God had for my life.
Hello All. This is everyone's favorite fiance, Joey. I am highjacking this post to finish it up! Time for some style, suspense, salutations and maybe even some romance...if time allows. So as things between me and Jackie became more serious, I realized that I loved this girl and wanted to spend my life with her. So not long after we picked out a ring, I began planning a proposal. Not really having any idea where to begin, I enlisted the help of one of Jackie's closest friends, Ellie. All I knew was that Jackie wanted pictures of the actual event so I started there. Ellie and I decided that we would convince Jackie we were all going to take pictures and then I would suprise her.
I began hammerinig down details, lines, props and the whole mess. I also simualtaneously began to lie to Jackie (as all good proposals begin) telling her I would probably propose sometime after Christmas, the next time I knew I would get time off to see her. (She bought it.) Ellie began to also drive home the idea of December, so the lady was convinced. As August 20th rolled around (the predestined date to meet her whole family) I began to step up the lying, that the ring was getting resized, that I didn't want to take pictures with her and Ellie (An idea which Jackie introduced to me as her idea. Man it was great!) I traveled to Baytown, met the family and friends, and kept thinking of reasons to get away from Jackie so i could show everyone the ring in my car, and tell them the whole plan. Saturday came and I met and talked to her father. (That great talk that every young man looks forward to having one day.) Once I recieved his blessing, I knew it was time to move forward. Sunday morning rolled around. I was nervous and quite (and oddity for all who know me) We get to the waterfront (Jackie's backyard) and set up for pictures. I tookseveral of her and Ellie first. This totally destroyed her suspscions that a proposal might be happening. (Plus she was looking out for the box that the ring came in.) I was of course prepared with the ring in my pocket. After a pleathera of "best friend pictures", Jackie and I began our pictures. After quite a few I got down on a knee to give her flowers we had bought earlier. I then claimed to have a call and reached in my pocket. The entire time Jackie, oblivous to the world, continuously tries to sit on my lap, and becomes confused/irritated when I keep pushing her away. Finially I got the ring out. She immediatly stopped talking. I don't remember what I said in the moment, but I am sure it was poetically brillant, full of great metaphors and alliteration. I wrapped it up with the mandatory, "Will you marry me?" She said "Yes." I said, "Really?" and she laughs and said "Yes." I then inform her that the pictures were my idea and that Ellie had been a willing participant all along. She was totally suprised and it was a great success. Rock and Roll
Jackie again. Thank you to all of our friends and family for your love and congrats the last few days. It has been a whirlwind of epic heights. We can't wait to see where and how God leads this journey. We can only remember that He is good and does all things for his glory. Wish us luck as we continue this journey and begin planning our life together.
Love love love,
Jackie & Joey
Joey & I met (a little over) 2 years ago when we both worked at Sky Ranch. I introduced myself to him and when I shook his hand and he said, "My name is Joey," I immediately replied with a typical answer for the girl I was 2 years ago: "Oh, you're going to love me. People named Joey always love me." While I thought this
would make an impression, it wasn't the wonderful impression I thought I had left. (Joey may or may not have told more than a few people that I was crazy and told him he would love me.)
Our friendship grew throughout the summer, as we were in "brother-sister" weekly bible study groups. Joey listened to me ramble through more than a few stories. He also refrained from telling me to shut up, most of the time. Haha. Joey let me ride to Wal-Mart with him the night of his 21st birthday, and just one short car ride and a walk around the store later, we realized how much we had in common. From the very beginning, we were not afraid to be ourselves around one another. We had superficial surface details in common, as well as similar lifelong passions. We began a friendship that would grow into God's beautiful plans for the future. There were a share of crazy moments, as each of us had a lot of growing up to do. It would have been a lie, but each of us would have said we didn't want a relationship back then. Things just didn't seem to ever fall together.
During a mini-roadtrip to Tulsa, OK with a girl friend, I stopped in to visit Joey and watch a Cowboys game. While watching the game, I learned about ice storms, as I was told my Joey's mom that I would have to stay in the guest room and leave in the morning. As Mrs. Duffy & I drank coffee the next morning, I was fascinated with what a wonderful mom she was and how well she loved her boys. There were so many things I saw ini her personality that I hoped I could be as a wife and mother. As Joey rushed me out the door, I looked forward to another chance to visit again.
Our second summer at Sky, we both branched out and made our own separate friends. We talked from time to time, which proved a good picture of God's power in each of our lives. Joey would pop into my office from time to time to crack a joke or leave an encouraging note on my desk. As the summer ended, we wished each other well.
We talked on and off throughout the next year, and when Joey told me he would be enlisting in the army, I was not happy about the idea. He called me one day in April and when I picked up, he said, "Hi, Will you marry me?" This is an ongoing joke between the two of us. The night we went to Wal-Mart, I decided we had too much in common to not get married. From time to time, we make jokes and ask each other if we would like to get married. I replied with the usual: "I'm busy today, but maybe tomorrow would work." We talked about him leaving for basic training and he asked if I would start writing him letters, because it was his only means of communication while in BCT. I told him I would and we talked a couple more times before he left.
My first letter to Joey was about four pages long and laid out all the reasons I loved our friendship, as well as all of the reasons I was against a long-distance military relationship. I (anxiously) awaited my first letter, in which Joey listed so many things he missed about me, our friendship, and a short list of reasons I should consider marrying him. We spent the next 12 weeks writing letters. I wrote every single day and nearly ran to the mailbox hoping for a letter each morning. He wrote as often as he could while training. He would call for a few minutes on Sunday afternoons, and update me on how he was holding up as well as informing me of the plans God continued to lay on his heart for our relationship. (It was amazing to see how God laid out the same plans in the hearts of two people so far away and with no contact but letters.) The end of BCT was coming and I had already arranged to visit Fort Sill in Lawton, OK for the weekend to see Joey graduate and catch up with his family. He called me on May 25th and finally asked me what I meant when I signed my letters "I love you." He told me he loved me too and he knew this was where God wanted us to be. I went to Lawton to see Joey graduate, never so proud to see a group of soldiers in my life. Tears well up in my eyes every time I heard him talk about God's calling for him to serve in the U.S. Army. He has such pride in the commitment he has made to serve.
He went to AIT (still at Fort Sill) and we continued to grow and discuss where God was leading this. I had no doubt in my mind, this was the man that God had for my life.
Hello All. This is everyone's favorite fiance, Joey. I am highjacking this post to finish it up! Time for some style, suspense, salutations and maybe even some romance...if time allows. So as things between me and Jackie became more serious, I realized that I loved this girl and wanted to spend my life with her. So not long after we picked out a ring, I began planning a proposal. Not really having any idea where to begin, I enlisted the help of one of Jackie's closest friends, Ellie. All I knew was that Jackie wanted pictures of the actual event so I started there. Ellie and I decided that we would convince Jackie we were all going to take pictures and then I would suprise her.
I began hammerinig down details, lines, props and the whole mess. I also simualtaneously began to lie to Jackie (as all good proposals begin) telling her I would probably propose sometime after Christmas, the next time I knew I would get time off to see her. (She bought it.) Ellie began to also drive home the idea of December, so the lady was convinced. As August 20th rolled around (the predestined date to meet her whole family) I began to step up the lying, that the ring was getting resized, that I didn't want to take pictures with her and Ellie (An idea which Jackie introduced to me as her idea. Man it was great!) I traveled to Baytown, met the family and friends, and kept thinking of reasons to get away from Jackie so i could show everyone the ring in my car, and tell them the whole plan. Saturday came and I met and talked to her father. (That great talk that every young man looks forward to having one day.) Once I recieved his blessing, I knew it was time to move forward. Sunday morning rolled around. I was nervous and quite (and oddity for all who know me) We get to the waterfront (Jackie's backyard) and set up for pictures. I tookseveral of her and Ellie first. This totally destroyed her suspscions that a proposal might be happening. (Plus she was looking out for the box that the ring came in.) I was of course prepared with the ring in my pocket. After a pleathera of "best friend pictures", Jackie and I began our pictures. After quite a few I got down on a knee to give her flowers we had bought earlier. I then claimed to have a call and reached in my pocket. The entire time Jackie, oblivous to the world, continuously tries to sit on my lap, and becomes confused/irritated when I keep pushing her away. Finially I got the ring out. She immediatly stopped talking. I don't remember what I said in the moment, but I am sure it was poetically brillant, full of great metaphors and alliteration. I wrapped it up with the mandatory, "Will you marry me?" She said "Yes." I said, "Really?" and she laughs and said "Yes." I then inform her that the pictures were my idea and that Ellie had been a willing participant all along. She was totally suprised and it was a great success. Rock and Roll
Jackie again. Thank you to all of our friends and family for your love and congrats the last few days. It has been a whirlwind of epic heights. We can't wait to see where and how God leads this journey. We can only remember that He is good and does all things for his glory. Wish us luck as we continue this journey and begin planning our life together.
Love love love,
Jackie & Joey
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
My Third Year of College/Update/Thank-you
Dear family, friends, teachers, professors, and the others most important to me,
It is that time of year again. It has been 3 years at this beautiful place of East Texas Baptist University. Every time I sit down to write this down, I am in awe of the time that has so swiftly flown right by me. Just as with the previous, this year has been full of beauty, triumph, grace, battles, failure, loss, and everything inbetween.
I ended my last letter ready to go spend one more beautiful summer at Sky Ranch...and what a blessing it was. To start the summer, I ran through a maze of names and people to discover that my Senior Counselor and co-pilot would be none other than Miss Bailey Delp. (More on the excitement that ensued in a moment). Bailey and I were in the same mentor group the summer before and she has just been such an inspiration and is a beautiful sister in Christ. This was an answered prayer from God, as I prayed for a group of girls that would become friends as well as co-counselors. We were then blessed with Alana, Amy & Kassidy. The five of us are so very different but became very close friends. Alana has a nurturing, graceful spirit that I have never seen in someone my age. Amy has an eye for beauty that is so awesome. (I should have known that Doug's little sis would be such a cool girl.) Kassidy has such a sensitive heart and just knew how to love those little girls with just the right word. Our summer was full of adventure. In more modern words, one would say that we were cursed. Proof: 2 knocked out teeth, 1 broken foot, 1 broken wrist, 1 separated shoulder, and a crazy pinched nerve. That was just between the five counselors. Let us not talk about the beauty of Lice Chaos 2009. It was in a moment of having to lice shampoo every little girl and counselor in our cabin on the deck of our cabin that I saw the face of God. Walking with a little girl the next day, I was able to ask her if she remembered what we talked about during our much delayed 9pm bible study that night. She said, "Yes. About how Jesus died to save us. And I prayed that prayer you talked about and told Jesus I want him in my life. You said I could pray it in bed by myself, right?" Wow. When I was sitting and soaking up the chaos, God was moving THROUGH the chaos. Did I mention that the same boy that God used to bring us bottled water and peace during every moment of chaos, Jeff Green, was also the same boy that came and swept our little Bailey off her feet. I remember when she got back from their first "not date" and talked about how awesome he was, and how they discussed how God has just made them so content in being single. Its so awesome how God just blesses those who willingly serve Him with no hesitation.
I came back to ETBU in the fall to begin my role as Vice President in Delta Pi Theta and also working for the Russell family. I was given the opportunity work for a family and live with them as well. It was such an amazing time to spend with Galen and Michelle. Their family is more loving and appreciative than most I have met in life. They immediately welcomed me into their home in a time in which I was feeling further away from home than ever before. I had the honor of planning Delta Pi Theta's Alumni Tailgate Party. It was a huge task, but one that went off with only a hitch or two with the help of the 7 beautiful officers I served with. This fall was a time of learning and growing. My classes weren't too difficult, but I think that is because God knew this would be a time of learning more about who He is calling me to be. I learned how to enjoy peace and quiet, as well as how to love the ones I am called to love.
During Christmas break, I spent a few days at home and looked back at the past year again. (If you're interested, the note is on my page.)
This semester has been amazing. I celebrated 21 years of life with some wonderful friends in the city of Shreveport, Louisiana. I made my own birthday cake and in the midst of that, discovered a new talent/passion of mine. I realized that with the pressures of taking 19 hours in school, serving as Vice President for Delta, and being on the Debate team...it was time to leave my job with the Russell family. It felt like moving away from home all over again. But God immediately provided me with a growing friendship with Brit. She is my roommate and we've been friends, but this semester has just been a blast, as well as a blessing to watch her and Stephen grow together. In February, I was out to dinner with a friend and he asked me, "If you could do anything with your life, without hesitation, what would it be?" I didn't have an answer for him but called him a week later and yelped, "A florist! I would be a florist. I have always loved it and I would love to do that." As I left working for the Russell family, I called every florist in Marshall and one was hiring. I went in to "audition" and I was awful. I saw ribbons and roses and forgot everything I have learned about flowers. But Janice offered me the job and it has been amazing. I have gone into work every day excited about what I will be doing. I have worked with four mother-like women and learned how to be quiet and learn from others. I have discovered my creative desires. All those years that I watched my sister paint and draw while wishing I could do the same...and I found my artistic love!
As the summer begins, I will take one class during May and continue working at Rainbow Floral and leave for the summer, only to return to my job in August. I am going to return home for a beautiful summer with my family. It has been far too long since I spent a summer and I can't wait. I got a job at Nasa Flowers just a mile away from my mom's, where I will be staying for the summer. It has been so cool to call and talk to her through the semester and hang up the phone saying, "I can't wait till this summer!" God has blessed me with such an amazing friend in my mom and I can't wait to continue to explore who He created each of us to be as we share a summer. (Not to mention hanging with my sisters and step-dad.)
Finally, God has begun laying a passion on my heart. I am called to love Him first and then love others. God has begun to explain to me what that looks like. I am learning how to love others, even when it isn't easy. And I beginning to see how my faith is empty if I don't ACT on it. I have also realized the fire He has lit in my heart for travelling. One short trip to see my very best friend, Ellie, in Colorado and it is more affirmed than ever before. I am prayerfully pursuing a path He is laying out in front of me as a finish my last year of college. I have some ideas of the direction, but I'm going to let Him solidify it before I go shouting it from the rooftops. (Something I def want to do.)
As usual, I end this letter with thanks. Thank you to Sky Ranch, for being a place of growth and truth. I get so exSKYted when I meet the newbies for this summer. They're a great bunch. Thank you to Delta, both the members and the officers. It has been a blessing and I am so thankful for all the love I can share with you ladies every Wednesday night and beyond. Thank you to my beautiful Kayla, Sarah, Brit, Emilee, Lindsey, Janelle, and all the other beautiful ladies that have made a way into my heart and life this year. You have reminded me, once again, of the beauty of community. Ellie, thank you for being the best friend that every girl dreams of. For showing me around your beautiful town and just the heart you have for others. I am so thankful every day for a best friend like you. I learn from you, even when you think I don't notice. Thank you to the professors that continually push me to be more than I think I can be. It is your loving guidance that got me the gradepoint average, knowledge, and passion for learning that I now have. Thank you to the friends and family at home. You keep me grounded and constantly pull me closer and closer to home, even when I feel so far away. (And Michael, for being a wonderful young man that I praise God for everytime I see the ways He continues to grow you in the land of Australia. Come home?)
I end with the same verse as in December and say, let's praise God and then tell others what he is doing in our lives.
"You rule from Zion, Lord, and we sing about you to let the nations know everything you have done."
Psalm 9:11
CEV
It is that time of year again. It has been 3 years at this beautiful place of East Texas Baptist University. Every time I sit down to write this down, I am in awe of the time that has so swiftly flown right by me. Just as with the previous, this year has been full of beauty, triumph, grace, battles, failure, loss, and everything inbetween.
I ended my last letter ready to go spend one more beautiful summer at Sky Ranch...and what a blessing it was. To start the summer, I ran through a maze of names and people to discover that my Senior Counselor and co-pilot would be none other than Miss Bailey Delp. (More on the excitement that ensued in a moment). Bailey and I were in the same mentor group the summer before and she has just been such an inspiration and is a beautiful sister in Christ. This was an answered prayer from God, as I prayed for a group of girls that would become friends as well as co-counselors. We were then blessed with Alana, Amy & Kassidy. The five of us are so very different but became very close friends. Alana has a nurturing, graceful spirit that I have never seen in someone my age. Amy has an eye for beauty that is so awesome. (I should have known that Doug's little sis would be such a cool girl.) Kassidy has such a sensitive heart and just knew how to love those little girls with just the right word. Our summer was full of adventure. In more modern words, one would say that we were cursed. Proof: 2 knocked out teeth, 1 broken foot, 1 broken wrist, 1 separated shoulder, and a crazy pinched nerve. That was just between the five counselors. Let us not talk about the beauty of Lice Chaos 2009. It was in a moment of having to lice shampoo every little girl and counselor in our cabin on the deck of our cabin that I saw the face of God. Walking with a little girl the next day, I was able to ask her if she remembered what we talked about during our much delayed 9pm bible study that night. She said, "Yes. About how Jesus died to save us. And I prayed that prayer you talked about and told Jesus I want him in my life. You said I could pray it in bed by myself, right?" Wow. When I was sitting and soaking up the chaos, God was moving THROUGH the chaos. Did I mention that the same boy that God used to bring us bottled water and peace during every moment of chaos, Jeff Green, was also the same boy that came and swept our little Bailey off her feet. I remember when she got back from their first "not date" and talked about how awesome he was, and how they discussed how God has just made them so content in being single. Its so awesome how God just blesses those who willingly serve Him with no hesitation.
I came back to ETBU in the fall to begin my role as Vice President in Delta Pi Theta and also working for the Russell family. I was given the opportunity work for a family and live with them as well. It was such an amazing time to spend with Galen and Michelle. Their family is more loving and appreciative than most I have met in life. They immediately welcomed me into their home in a time in which I was feeling further away from home than ever before. I had the honor of planning Delta Pi Theta's Alumni Tailgate Party. It was a huge task, but one that went off with only a hitch or two with the help of the 7 beautiful officers I served with. This fall was a time of learning and growing. My classes weren't too difficult, but I think that is because God knew this would be a time of learning more about who He is calling me to be. I learned how to enjoy peace and quiet, as well as how to love the ones I am called to love.
During Christmas break, I spent a few days at home and looked back at the past year again. (If you're interested, the note is on my page.)
This semester has been amazing. I celebrated 21 years of life with some wonderful friends in the city of Shreveport, Louisiana. I made my own birthday cake and in the midst of that, discovered a new talent/passion of mine. I realized that with the pressures of taking 19 hours in school, serving as Vice President for Delta, and being on the Debate team...it was time to leave my job with the Russell family. It felt like moving away from home all over again. But God immediately provided me with a growing friendship with Brit. She is my roommate and we've been friends, but this semester has just been a blast, as well as a blessing to watch her and Stephen grow together. In February, I was out to dinner with a friend and he asked me, "If you could do anything with your life, without hesitation, what would it be?" I didn't have an answer for him but called him a week later and yelped, "A florist! I would be a florist. I have always loved it and I would love to do that." As I left working for the Russell family, I called every florist in Marshall and one was hiring. I went in to "audition" and I was awful. I saw ribbons and roses and forgot everything I have learned about flowers. But Janice offered me the job and it has been amazing. I have gone into work every day excited about what I will be doing. I have worked with four mother-like women and learned how to be quiet and learn from others. I have discovered my creative desires. All those years that I watched my sister paint and draw while wishing I could do the same...and I found my artistic love!
As the summer begins, I will take one class during May and continue working at Rainbow Floral and leave for the summer, only to return to my job in August. I am going to return home for a beautiful summer with my family. It has been far too long since I spent a summer and I can't wait. I got a job at Nasa Flowers just a mile away from my mom's, where I will be staying for the summer. It has been so cool to call and talk to her through the semester and hang up the phone saying, "I can't wait till this summer!" God has blessed me with such an amazing friend in my mom and I can't wait to continue to explore who He created each of us to be as we share a summer. (Not to mention hanging with my sisters and step-dad.)
Finally, God has begun laying a passion on my heart. I am called to love Him first and then love others. God has begun to explain to me what that looks like. I am learning how to love others, even when it isn't easy. And I beginning to see how my faith is empty if I don't ACT on it. I have also realized the fire He has lit in my heart for travelling. One short trip to see my very best friend, Ellie, in Colorado and it is more affirmed than ever before. I am prayerfully pursuing a path He is laying out in front of me as a finish my last year of college. I have some ideas of the direction, but I'm going to let Him solidify it before I go shouting it from the rooftops. (Something I def want to do.)
As usual, I end this letter with thanks. Thank you to Sky Ranch, for being a place of growth and truth. I get so exSKYted when I meet the newbies for this summer. They're a great bunch. Thank you to Delta, both the members and the officers. It has been a blessing and I am so thankful for all the love I can share with you ladies every Wednesday night and beyond. Thank you to my beautiful Kayla, Sarah, Brit, Emilee, Lindsey, Janelle, and all the other beautiful ladies that have made a way into my heart and life this year. You have reminded me, once again, of the beauty of community. Ellie, thank you for being the best friend that every girl dreams of. For showing me around your beautiful town and just the heart you have for others. I am so thankful every day for a best friend like you. I learn from you, even when you think I don't notice. Thank you to the professors that continually push me to be more than I think I can be. It is your loving guidance that got me the gradepoint average, knowledge, and passion for learning that I now have. Thank you to the friends and family at home. You keep me grounded and constantly pull me closer and closer to home, even when I feel so far away. (And Michael, for being a wonderful young man that I praise God for everytime I see the ways He continues to grow you in the land of Australia. Come home?)
I end with the same verse as in December and say, let's praise God and then tell others what he is doing in our lives.
"You rule from Zion, Lord, and we sing about you to let the nations know everything you have done."
Psalm 9:11
CEV
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
How's THAT for living?
One hundred thirty.
That's how many minutes I spent on the phone with my mom last night. Part of the wonder at that is the fact that I placed the call at 10:34pm.
I called my mom to inform her that I was investing in a hammock to sleep in during the summer while I live with her. While I thought I should let her know, part of the reason I called was because I figured she would have a good laugh over the idea. The words out of her mouth: "Oh, that's SO cool! Sonny (my step-dad) and I have been discussing getting an air mattress so we can sleep on our balcony during the summer!"
I should have known at this point that we would spend a couple hours catching up and pouring out of hearts, ideas, burdens, questions, dreams, etc.
Most of our heart to heart could be summed up in one word: "Why?"
I have just been pondering life and the meaning of it and thought..."Why do I have to get a career after I graduate?" If I'm lucky, I could live to be 80 years old. That means I have already lived over a quarter of my life.
In Jon Krakauer's 1996 novel "Into The Wild," the main character is quoted, "Mr. Franz I think careers are a 20th century invention and I don't want one." We discussed how much of what the character did in this story was running aware from reality and trying to prove something to those around him. But he had such a good point in this line. WHY? Even if I graduate with my degree and don't get a career, I will still have seen my time here as important and very valuable. In his semi-autobiographical novel, "Through Painted Deserts," Donald Miller writes, "Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons." And that is what I have done. I left and I am ready to go back for the summer to work and love my home for all new reasons.
I just finished one of Donald Miller's newer books, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years."
VERY intriguing idea: "The thing I never realized while I was studying marketing was the process of advertising products is, in many ways, a manipulation of the elements of story (life). It's like I was telling you about an inciting incident disrupting the stability of a character's life, throwing him or her into a story. Advertising does exactly this. We watch a commerical with a new Volvo, and suddently we feel our life isn't as content as it once was. Our life doesn't have the new Vovlo. And we begin the story of buying it, only to repeat the story with a new weed eater and then a new home stereo. And it goes on for a lifetime. When the credits roll, we wonder what we did with our lives, and what was the meaning. The ambitions we will become the stories we live. If you want to know what a person's story is about, just ask them what they want. If we don't want anything, we are living boring stories, and if we want a Roomba vacuum cleaner, we are living stupid stories. If it won't work in a story, it won't work in life."
I have made the decision to stop listening to the commercials. I don't need to be a size 3, or even a size 7 for that matter. I don't need to be unnaturally dark skinned. I don't need fake contacts or highlights. I don't need a new teapot because it has a nice floral print and would look good on my shelf.
My life is NOT the things I have, it is the things I do/experience/enjoy.
I have more thoughts on this...but I am going to walk away from the computer and experience some more life.
Today's experience: Sitting in a local independent bookstore reading and conversing with two retired men about life and good music. Ate chopped BBQ sandwiches with them. 7 holes of golf. Laid in a hammock.
How's that for living life?
"Well, its almost 1am. I'm going to go to bed..."
That's how many minutes I spent on the phone with my mom last night. Part of the wonder at that is the fact that I placed the call at 10:34pm.
I called my mom to inform her that I was investing in a hammock to sleep in during the summer while I live with her. While I thought I should let her know, part of the reason I called was because I figured she would have a good laugh over the idea. The words out of her mouth: "Oh, that's SO cool! Sonny (my step-dad) and I have been discussing getting an air mattress so we can sleep on our balcony during the summer!"
I should have known at this point that we would spend a couple hours catching up and pouring out of hearts, ideas, burdens, questions, dreams, etc.
Most of our heart to heart could be summed up in one word: "Why?"
I have just been pondering life and the meaning of it and thought..."Why do I have to get a career after I graduate?" If I'm lucky, I could live to be 80 years old. That means I have already lived over a quarter of my life.
In Jon Krakauer's 1996 novel "Into The Wild," the main character is quoted, "Mr. Franz I think careers are a 20th century invention and I don't want one." We discussed how much of what the character did in this story was running aware from reality and trying to prove something to those around him. But he had such a good point in this line. WHY? Even if I graduate with my degree and don't get a career, I will still have seen my time here as important and very valuable. In his semi-autobiographical novel, "Through Painted Deserts," Donald Miller writes, "Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons." And that is what I have done. I left and I am ready to go back for the summer to work and love my home for all new reasons.
I just finished one of Donald Miller's newer books, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years."
VERY intriguing idea: "The thing I never realized while I was studying marketing was the process of advertising products is, in many ways, a manipulation of the elements of story (life). It's like I was telling you about an inciting incident disrupting the stability of a character's life, throwing him or her into a story. Advertising does exactly this. We watch a commerical with a new Volvo, and suddently we feel our life isn't as content as it once was. Our life doesn't have the new Vovlo. And we begin the story of buying it, only to repeat the story with a new weed eater and then a new home stereo. And it goes on for a lifetime. When the credits roll, we wonder what we did with our lives, and what was the meaning. The ambitions we will become the stories we live. If you want to know what a person's story is about, just ask them what they want. If we don't want anything, we are living boring stories, and if we want a Roomba vacuum cleaner, we are living stupid stories. If it won't work in a story, it won't work in life."
I have made the decision to stop listening to the commercials. I don't need to be a size 3, or even a size 7 for that matter. I don't need to be unnaturally dark skinned. I don't need fake contacts or highlights. I don't need a new teapot because it has a nice floral print and would look good on my shelf.
My life is NOT the things I have, it is the things I do/experience/enjoy.
I have more thoughts on this...but I am going to walk away from the computer and experience some more life.
Today's experience: Sitting in a local independent bookstore reading and conversing with two retired men about life and good music. Ate chopped BBQ sandwiches with them. 7 holes of golf. Laid in a hammock.
How's that for living life?
"Well, its almost 1am. I'm going to go to bed..."
Monday, April 12, 2010
How About New Shoes?
Our God is not the God of America. Our God is God of all people.
"From one man he created all the nations throughout the whole earth. He decided beforehand when they should rise and fall, and he determined their boundaries." Acts 17:26 (NLT)
I recently read an article in which the author posed the question, "What if a cooperative interdependence took the place of our misguided sense of independence in America and then the world?" This line has since been haunting me.
In Moral Seminar, we are currently looking at Morality & Emotion. This chapter has begun to help me connect my implicit (internalized, unspoken) feeling with an explicit (outward, spoken/written) action. Which leads me to the very common question for myself: WHY?
Why have we become a people that look to our own interests? (When I say we, I am speaking to those of us who call ourselves Christians/believers/children of God.) Others are more than welcome to read this, but this is a call/plea to the people that cling to the same faith and hope in this God that I do.
When was the last time I/you/we cried over the death of an Iraqi soldier? When did I/you/we become to believe that fighting a war to "protect" our nation was appropriate because we are defending what we believe is right? Why is the death of innocent Iraqi bystanders in these battles "just a part of war", while the 3,497 people who died through the tragedies of 9/11 was "unthinkable"? I agree that these American deaths were tragic. My heart broke as I walked through the streets of New York six years later and saw memorials all around me. When did I/you/we find time to cry for the citizens of other nations that have died as a part of this war?
Larry P. Nucci (quoted/discussed in previous blogs) notes that emotional development underlies the development of both moral and religious beliefs. Is it that many of us are not emotionally mature enough to view this situation (among many other daily injustices) through the lenses of the faith I/you/we so adamantly proclaim?...
Nucci states that a person who is emotionally immature will hold religious beliefs differently from people who are more mature. This sounds a lot like someone who reads the Word, goes to church, truly tries to love God...and overlooks all of this, casting judgement on a homosexual sin. When I/you/we meet someone who is homosexual, how easy is it to judge them and start to pray/think/plan on ways to "help them out of their sin." When was the last time I/you/we confronted or prayed for a friend who was struggling with cheating on tests...or lying to their parents...or worrying ("Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?" Matt 6:25)???
I say all of this because these thoughts are swirling through my head. They won't be answered today. They can't be changed throughout the world in a day...but they are things to be thought about/chewed on/wrestled with/internalized.
Lately God has been calling me to love people. I know we are ALL ALWAYS called to love people...but He has been making it painfully obvious.
American journalist, Dorothy Day, once said, "If you own two coats, one of them belongs to the poor."
Saturday, I went through all of my clothes, shoes, etc and got rid of half of it. I counted what I kept and what I got rid of to hold myself accountable. When I went to the clothing/shelter donation box, I dropped off 7 trashbags full of belongings. I was excited on the drive over there...hoping that following God's whispers would lead me to feel accomplished and a 'faithful follower'...but instead, I left with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart. The clothes I dropped off completely filled up the empty bin. There are homeless people who wear the same clothes every single day and I was able to give away half of what I owned and not only do I not miss any of it...I can't really tell you right now what was in those bags.
I'm thanking God for His lesson, as I continue to seach for ways to love His people more than I do today. I want to love Him more tomorrow than I do today. To quote my wonderful friend Curt Vernon “I pray that tonight is the farthest that we ever are from you Lord.”
One last idea from Nucci: "Perspective takig is necessary if one is to understand. One must temporarily suspend one's own perspective in order to take that of another, much as you must take off your own shoes in order to try on another pair."
Take off the shoes of comfort.
Take off the shoes of apathy.
Take off the shoes of believing that Americans are in any way more deserving of anything.
Take off the shoes of judgement.
Take off the shoes of being right in an argument.
Take off the shoes of somehow thinking you know better.
Take off ALL of your shoes....and put on the shoes of a Big Guy. He is so much better at teaching you how to walk through this life. Some times, the shoes feel awkward and it is SO much easier to get back into the old shoes. But that's the point! He is growing you...for the rest of your days. But every single day you follow Him, you will grow into those shoes will feel better.
And remember, there is room in those shoes because they are His. He is walking in them and you are too. He was meant to walk it with you. If you try to borrow them and do it on your own, you will fail. They're pretty big shoes to fill.
"From one man he created all the nations throughout the whole earth. He decided beforehand when they should rise and fall, and he determined their boundaries." Acts 17:26 (NLT)
I recently read an article in which the author posed the question, "What if a cooperative interdependence took the place of our misguided sense of independence in America and then the world?" This line has since been haunting me.
In Moral Seminar, we are currently looking at Morality & Emotion. This chapter has begun to help me connect my implicit (internalized, unspoken) feeling with an explicit (outward, spoken/written) action. Which leads me to the very common question for myself: WHY?
Why have we become a people that look to our own interests? (When I say we, I am speaking to those of us who call ourselves Christians/believers/children of God.) Others are more than welcome to read this, but this is a call/plea to the people that cling to the same faith and hope in this God that I do.
When was the last time I/you/we cried over the death of an Iraqi soldier? When did I/you/we become to believe that fighting a war to "protect" our nation was appropriate because we are defending what we believe is right? Why is the death of innocent Iraqi bystanders in these battles "just a part of war", while the 3,497 people who died through the tragedies of 9/11 was "unthinkable"? I agree that these American deaths were tragic. My heart broke as I walked through the streets of New York six years later and saw memorials all around me. When did I/you/we find time to cry for the citizens of other nations that have died as a part of this war?
Larry P. Nucci (quoted/discussed in previous blogs) notes that emotional development underlies the development of both moral and religious beliefs. Is it that many of us are not emotionally mature enough to view this situation (among many other daily injustices) through the lenses of the faith I/you/we so adamantly proclaim?...
Nucci states that a person who is emotionally immature will hold religious beliefs differently from people who are more mature. This sounds a lot like someone who reads the Word, goes to church, truly tries to love God...and overlooks all of this, casting judgement on a homosexual sin. When I/you/we meet someone who is homosexual, how easy is it to judge them and start to pray/think/plan on ways to "help them out of their sin." When was the last time I/you/we confronted or prayed for a friend who was struggling with cheating on tests...or lying to their parents...or worrying ("Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?" Matt 6:25)???
I say all of this because these thoughts are swirling through my head. They won't be answered today. They can't be changed throughout the world in a day...but they are things to be thought about/chewed on/wrestled with/internalized.
Lately God has been calling me to love people. I know we are ALL ALWAYS called to love people...but He has been making it painfully obvious.
American journalist, Dorothy Day, once said, "If you own two coats, one of them belongs to the poor."
Saturday, I went through all of my clothes, shoes, etc and got rid of half of it. I counted what I kept and what I got rid of to hold myself accountable. When I went to the clothing/shelter donation box, I dropped off 7 trashbags full of belongings. I was excited on the drive over there...hoping that following God's whispers would lead me to feel accomplished and a 'faithful follower'...but instead, I left with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart. The clothes I dropped off completely filled up the empty bin. There are homeless people who wear the same clothes every single day and I was able to give away half of what I owned and not only do I not miss any of it...I can't really tell you right now what was in those bags.
I'm thanking God for His lesson, as I continue to seach for ways to love His people more than I do today. I want to love Him more tomorrow than I do today. To quote my wonderful friend Curt Vernon “I pray that tonight is the farthest that we ever are from you Lord.”
One last idea from Nucci: "Perspective takig is necessary if one is to understand. One must temporarily suspend one's own perspective in order to take that of another, much as you must take off your own shoes in order to try on another pair."
Take off the shoes of comfort.
Take off the shoes of apathy.
Take off the shoes of believing that Americans are in any way more deserving of anything.
Take off the shoes of judgement.
Take off the shoes of being right in an argument.
Take off the shoes of somehow thinking you know better.
Take off ALL of your shoes....and put on the shoes of a Big Guy. He is so much better at teaching you how to walk through this life. Some times, the shoes feel awkward and it is SO much easier to get back into the old shoes. But that's the point! He is growing you...for the rest of your days. But every single day you follow Him, you will grow into those shoes will feel better.
And remember, there is room in those shoes because they are His. He is walking in them and you are too. He was meant to walk it with you. If you try to borrow them and do it on your own, you will fail. They're pretty big shoes to fill.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
How do YOU view the holes?
I was told of an interesting poem one day during Moral Seminar and I just got a chance to look it up. It was taken from the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying and is titled 'Autobiography in Five Chapters.'
Chapter 1.
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in. I am lost…I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter 2.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again.
I cant believe I am in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter 3.
I walk down the same street.There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there. I still fall in… its a habit.
But, my eyes are open. I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter 4.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter 5.
I walk down another street.
Does this sound anything like you're life? I know it sounds like the way I act sometimes.
The two that sound most like myself are chapters 2 and 3. How many times have I found myself sitting at the bottom of the whole because I pretended it wasn't there.?..all while saying, "Well it isn't my fault there's a hole in the middle of the street!"
Just as often, I am blatantly aware of the hole and go walking around.
Its the glory that I call God that gets me from Chapter 4 to Chapter 5 of this story. When I finally realize that I could keep walking around this hole for the rest of my life.
When I read this story, a very important passage comes to mind:
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Phil 3:12-15 NIV
Let's not forget that we have a much bigger goal in life. When we are able to walk down a different street and stop falling into useless holes, we will be able to walk towards the goal we hope to achieve.
Chapter 1.
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in. I am lost…I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter 2.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again.
I cant believe I am in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter 3.
I walk down the same street.There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there. I still fall in… its a habit.
But, my eyes are open. I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter 4.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter 5.
I walk down another street.
Does this sound anything like you're life? I know it sounds like the way I act sometimes.
The two that sound most like myself are chapters 2 and 3. How many times have I found myself sitting at the bottom of the whole because I pretended it wasn't there.?..all while saying, "Well it isn't my fault there's a hole in the middle of the street!"
Just as often, I am blatantly aware of the hole and go walking around.
Its the glory that I call God that gets me from Chapter 4 to Chapter 5 of this story. When I finally realize that I could keep walking around this hole for the rest of my life.
When I read this story, a very important passage comes to mind:
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Phil 3:12-15 NIV
Let's not forget that we have a much bigger goal in life. When we are able to walk down a different street and stop falling into useless holes, we will be able to walk towards the goal we hope to achieve.
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