Today, I am thankful for my brain. I have been struggling through Statistics this semester. I have realized that taking a higher level math course during college would have made things much easier...but since I did not choose to do so, I have been struggling my way through this semester's graduate level math course. It sucks.
But today I was awakened by the truth that I have the ability to do this. It isn't too difficult. It is going to take a few more weeks of hard work, but I can do it.
Today's thankfulness is simple. But it feels like a success.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Day 1 of 31 Days of Thankfulness
I am taking a break at work and reading back over the past months. Really? Its been 11 months since my engagement was called off? Some days, it feels like yesterday. And others, I look at where I am and wonder who the young girl planning a wedding even was. I didn't plan on stay in East Texas after graduation. I didn't plan on going to graduate school. I had never been to Cross Fit. And I knew nothing about wealth management.
And now, this is the life I am living. I'm awake at 4:40am to head to my 5:15am work out class. I put on professional clothes every morning and head to the office. (More on that in a moment.) I go home from work and spend hours reading text books and taking exams.
It is amazing where God has brought me in such a short time. Here are some things I have done since moving to Tyler, TX:
Got a (giant) new tattoo
Started my MBA
Made a few amazing girl friends
Started eating/cooking Paleo
Joined Cross Fit (www.gymfedcrossfit.com)
Got a job at a private investment firm
Gave my 2 weeks notice at private investment firm
Started interview process at new investment firm
Met an amazing guy that has shown me around, taken me on some awesome dates, surprised me, & treated me like I've never experienced
I was in tears as I read over my past blog posts. Old feelings came rushing back. I remembered the heartbreak of loss. I laughed at myself. I remembered the lessons I had so quickly forgotten. Most of all, I was thankful. I was thankful for the things I have learned...the people I have met...the things I have experience...and the grace that has gotten me through every step of the journey.
This seems like an appropriate way to begin my month of Thankfulness posts. I've sucked at posting. And (like every blogger who slacks at blogging will tell you) I am going to start posting more. Not because I think anyone is learning any amazing lesson from it...but because I am so blessed when I look back at where I have come from.
Happy Month of Thankfulness!
Jackie
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
They call this an epiphany.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Who is the girl who filled the pages before the one on which I write?
She has been through incredible ups and downs.
She has praised God in triumph and heartbreak. She has run from Him when ashamed...or just too busy and content to notice Him.
She sometimes read Bible verses as they were veins through which her blood pumped...and some days like a foreign language transcribed from another century.
She used to be afraid of growing up. She now alives alone...no long riding the bus to school.
She didn't feel like she would ever grow up. Now, she calls her dad and talks of interest rates and mail forwarding.
She just knew the world would end if she was 22 and unmarried. She has no idea that 22 felt so young, and no where near the weight of responsibility that forever comes with.
She created an "after graduation" plan that involved reading many books and not thinking about a carreer or continuing her education. She just signed a lease on an apartment located between her new office and the university where she will begin her MBA this fall.
Who is the girl who filled the pages before the one on which I write?
She has been through incredible ups and downs.
She has praised God in triumph and heartbreak. She has run from Him when ashamed...or just too busy and content to notice Him.
She sometimes read Bible verses as they were veins through which her blood pumped...and some days like a foreign language transcribed from another century.
She used to be afraid of growing up. She now alives alone...no long riding the bus to school.
She didn't feel like she would ever grow up. Now, she calls her dad and talks of interest rates and mail forwarding.
She just knew the world would end if she was 22 and unmarried. She has no idea that 22 felt so young, and no where near the weight of responsibility that forever comes with.
She created an "after graduation" plan that involved reading many books and not thinking about a carreer or continuing her education. She just signed a lease on an apartment located between her new office and the university where she will begin her MBA this fall.
She wrote in her journals for years, waiting for the epiphany to leak out of a ball point pen.
She has come to realize the epiphany comes while pouring over the pages and seeing how little she knew, how much she has learned, and again...how little she knows.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Beauty is in the eye...
This week's major goal-setting had to do with getting my workout and health-conscious eating on track. This was a great week and I was introduced to a new iPhone app along the way too!
MyFitnessPal is a wonderful tool I have used to stay aware of what I am eating. I answered some question about my current weight, lifestyle and goals (as well as a healthy timeline for the goals) and it calculates my approximate daily caloric intake to meet my goals.
HERE COMES THE BEST PART!
MyFitnessPal has a database of millions of food items from restaurants and grocery stores, as well as any grocery item you could think of. It also reads barcodes and pulls up the exact item you have purchased to eat/drink.
Only eat half of your EasyMac? Not a problem!! The program let's you enter how many servings you consumed.
Can't pull the item up but you have the nutritional info? Just enter the amount under "Quick Calories."
When you're done with your daily workout, just look it up under "Cardio" or "Strength" workouts. If you're running, it give you various speeds and "mph" measurements. The calories you've worked off are subtracted from your Daily Net Calories.
(I like this because if i don't have time to work out, I'm still able to look at how I can eat that day to stay on track to my goals!)
The most encouraging part: At the end of the day, you "close out" your food dairy and it gives you some (hopefully good) news: "Congrats! If every day is like today, you will weigh ______ by your goal date!"
Being able to see what I'm working on and know my progress is worth the effort makes me want to stick with this life-style changing plan.
I know I've only lost one pound this week, if that, but I can't help feeling like a total hottie when I get home from my run. I'm working hard and persevering. That's worth it all.
MyFitnessPal is a wonderful tool I have used to stay aware of what I am eating. I answered some question about my current weight, lifestyle and goals (as well as a healthy timeline for the goals) and it calculates my approximate daily caloric intake to meet my goals.
HERE COMES THE BEST PART!
MyFitnessPal has a database of millions of food items from restaurants and grocery stores, as well as any grocery item you could think of. It also reads barcodes and pulls up the exact item you have purchased to eat/drink.
Only eat half of your EasyMac? Not a problem!! The program let's you enter how many servings you consumed.
Can't pull the item up but you have the nutritional info? Just enter the amount under "Quick Calories."
When you're done with your daily workout, just look it up under "Cardio" or "Strength" workouts. If you're running, it give you various speeds and "mph" measurements. The calories you've worked off are subtracted from your Daily Net Calories.
(I like this because if i don't have time to work out, I'm still able to look at how I can eat that day to stay on track to my goals!)
The most encouraging part: At the end of the day, you "close out" your food dairy and it gives you some (hopefully good) news: "Congrats! If every day is like today, you will weigh ______ by your goal date!"
Being able to see what I'm working on and know my progress is worth the effort makes me want to stick with this life-style changing plan.
I know I've only lost one pound this week, if that, but I can't help feeling like a total hottie when I get home from my run. I'm working hard and persevering. That's worth it all.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Book Review - "Quitter" by Jon Acuff
My first book was a good book. I will say, it was a poor choice on my part to choose this as my first read of the project. As an avid reader, a shelf full of classics beckoned me as a began this book. I chose to start with this book because I reasoned any book a pre-ordered must be rather pertinent to me, so I put it first on the shelf.
If you are currently in a job or career that you dred getting up for in the morning, this book is for you. If you have a passion for something you do on the weekends or evenings after work, this book is for you. If you've always wondered why you can't do something you love (that you are also GREAT at) for the rest of your life, this book is for.
When I was months away from graduation, I answered Jon's call for people that considered them "I'm....but..." people. I wrote and told him "I'm a college student, but I want to travel." Not exactly the answer he was looking for, but a dream none the less.
Jon has compiled the stories of his readers and friends, as well as a large section of his own experiences, on the subject of "closing the gap between your day job & your dream job." Because I am in what I know is only a temporary day job right while I am looking for future dream jobs, I didn't find this book as applicable as I thought I might. Rather than saying, "Oh, I feel relieved that someone else out there feels trapped in their day job," I felt like I was reading the advice of other people more experienced in the work field. I was able to read and say, "I will not put myself in a position that I hate to get out of bed every day for work. I will carefully choose a career that I can find joy in on a daily basis. I want a job that I am passionate about."
I would suggest this book to anyone who is asking the quesstions I mentioned above. I would also suggest this to anyone who, like me, is afraid of the career world. This book will not soothe your fears but equip you with realistic advice on how to enter the "grown up" world of day jobs, careers, and dream jobs.
Stay posted. The next 2 books are rather exciting. :)
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Frozen Yogurt & Peaceful Salutations
Today, I spent the afternoon shopping and eating frozen yogurt with Sarah. We watched a documentary and a romance film. We went grocery shopping.
And said, "Guys suck. They are so dumb!" over and over again.
I have yet again learned the lesson of getting too close to someone before they deserve it. I didn't fall in love or anything, but I had those really long heartfelt conversations with someone that didn't deserve to know anything about my heart yet. I told secrets I should have kept to myself and shared little inside jokes that I should have waited for.
If you would have asked me at fifteen, I would have told you I would have had men (as well as love, marriage, sex, and my career) figured out by the age of twenty-two. It just seemed so obvious when I was in high school that life would make enormous sense when I was walking about this planet proudly displaying my college degree. Today, nothing seemed further from the truth. Rather than crying to my sister and chatting with my friends on AIM about my awful encounter, I sat at my best friends house and listed good reasons to get over it and enjoy my summer/life with a lesson learned behind me.
What I realized today was not a lesson learned, but an epiphany of a moral quality that I have grown into. I didn't wish him anything negative. I actually said, "I'm trying not to be angry, because I want you to have what makes you happy. Just trying to deal in my own way, ya know?" Re-playing those words in my head, today is not a failure but a monumental success. I have grown away from the "I hate men" attitude I once held when things didn't go the way I imagined them and have realized I have a long life ahead of me. I took it all with a grain of salt and wished him well in future endeavors, though they would not involve me.
Here's to lessons learned. Here's to growing up. Here's to letting go of the things that don't bring us joy and moving towards a more complete fullfilling life.
Most of all, here is to going to bed with a peaceful heart and mind.
And said, "Guys suck. They are so dumb!" over and over again.
I have yet again learned the lesson of getting too close to someone before they deserve it. I didn't fall in love or anything, but I had those really long heartfelt conversations with someone that didn't deserve to know anything about my heart yet. I told secrets I should have kept to myself and shared little inside jokes that I should have waited for.
If you would have asked me at fifteen, I would have told you I would have had men (as well as love, marriage, sex, and my career) figured out by the age of twenty-two. It just seemed so obvious when I was in high school that life would make enormous sense when I was walking about this planet proudly displaying my college degree. Today, nothing seemed further from the truth. Rather than crying to my sister and chatting with my friends on AIM about my awful encounter, I sat at my best friends house and listed good reasons to get over it and enjoy my summer/life with a lesson learned behind me.
What I realized today was not a lesson learned, but an epiphany of a moral quality that I have grown into. I didn't wish him anything negative. I actually said, "I'm trying not to be angry, because I want you to have what makes you happy. Just trying to deal in my own way, ya know?" Re-playing those words in my head, today is not a failure but a monumental success. I have grown away from the "I hate men" attitude I once held when things didn't go the way I imagined them and have realized I have a long life ahead of me. I took it all with a grain of salt and wished him well in future endeavors, though they would not involve me.
Here's to lessons learned. Here's to growing up. Here's to letting go of the things that don't bring us joy and moving towards a more complete fullfilling life.
Most of all, here is to going to bed with a peaceful heart and mind.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Progress, Efficiency Apartments and a 60-hour Work Week
I'm working on my current commitment to stick to a consistent writing schedule. Because I haven't done much of my One Year Self-Directed Alternative Graduate School Experience, this post may seem a little, "Hey, look at me and my life." (That was a plug for my friend Elizabeth and her rant concerning self-centered bloggers.)
I have finally settled into my tiny apartment and will work on hanging up art and wall hangings during my half day off tomorrow.
"Quitter" by Jon Acuff is the first book on my reading list for the year. I am about halfway through, into the second year of my project. Clarification: Its one week in and I am already running behind, but I think I'm okay with it. I have chose this challenge and I am going to run at it to the best of my ability. I will work hard and challenge myself for the next 12 months.
So far this summer (all two weeks of it) I have enjoyed nights out with my best friends, live music in the summer sun and a day at the lake. I have gotten closer to the people I love and distanced myself from the relationships that are not going anywhere. I have learned that life is too short to spend it with people that aren't valuable to your life...even if that means going on lots of first dates and saying "No" to second dates.
I will now conclude this post that was mostly about me and not much about anything of value to the general public. If you were hoping for some worldly knowledge or quirky comedic post, I promise to try to live up to those standards in the future.
Future posts will include:
-Book reviews
-Life lessons learned
-Funny things that happen to me that will make you say, "Haha. Oh man, that's so funny."
-Other things that are more interesting than my day-to-day life.
I have finally settled into my tiny apartment and will work on hanging up art and wall hangings during my half day off tomorrow.
"Quitter" by Jon Acuff is the first book on my reading list for the year. I am about halfway through, into the second year of my project. Clarification: Its one week in and I am already running behind, but I think I'm okay with it. I have chose this challenge and I am going to run at it to the best of my ability. I will work hard and challenge myself for the next 12 months.
So far this summer (all two weeks of it) I have enjoyed nights out with my best friends, live music in the summer sun and a day at the lake. I have gotten closer to the people I love and distanced myself from the relationships that are not going anywhere. I have learned that life is too short to spend it with people that aren't valuable to your life...even if that means going on lots of first dates and saying "No" to second dates.
I will now conclude this post that was mostly about me and not much about anything of value to the general public. If you were hoping for some worldly knowledge or quirky comedic post, I promise to try to live up to those standards in the future.
Future posts will include:
-Book reviews
-Life lessons learned
-Funny things that happen to me that will make you say, "Haha. Oh man, that's so funny."
-Other things that are more interesting than my day-to-day life.
Monday, April 11, 2011
My Final Year of College/Update/Thank-you
Dear family, friends, teachers, professors, and the others most important to me,
As I sit down to write this story every year, it becomes increasingly more difficult to sum up the year’s events in just a short letter. I finished my last letter with hopes of moving home to work at a flower shop in Houston. Due to various circumstances, I was needed at the flower shop I currently worked at so I decided to spend the summer in Marshall. I spent about half of the summer housesitting and the other half living with friends. It was a summer that hinted at what it would be like to live alone and work 40+ hours a week. I began a relationship that would teach me more life lessons than I could have every anticipated.
As the fall semester began, I started my final year of college. Three years had flown by and I was now wrapping up the loose ends of my time at East Texas Baptist University. I also got engaged in the fall. It was a busy time of taking a full course load, working three jobs, and planning a wedding. Any of you who saw me knows how crazy my days were and how little time I had to sit and relax. It was this fall that I realized God called us to take a Sabbath. He was trying to tell me to rest in Him and trust that He would lead me to accomplish the things I was called to do. I finished the fall semester in school and started working at an amazing restaurant, THE blue frog GRILL. I had no clue the impact this job and the people at this place would make on my life.
Christmas break was an incredible and heartbreaking time. Joey and I called off our engagement. Looking back on this moment, I don’t understand why I was so embarrassed to call friends and family to break the news. It felt like we were failing and every person who said we were “too young” or got engaged “too soon,” were all right. I now realize that by beginning this conversation, Joey was being brave and responsible. It was the hardest experience I have ever gone through and to go through it with a man who I had hoped to spend my life was excruciating. We were friends for years before and the dynamic of our relationship was forever changed. I spent the rest of Christmas break starting to repair my life and move in a positive direction. This consisted of a weekend at a friend’s ranch, time on my sister’s couch, long talks at Starbucks, and lots of being alone, listening to my iPod and journaling my thoughts and prayers.
Coming back to ETBU for my final semester was the most difficult adjustment I have had to make since beginning college three years ago. I had to start breaking to news to people on campus and learning how to reshape and plan the future that was quickly approaching after graduation. Kayla and Sarah spent many evenings reassuring me that God had a plan, regardless of how crazy everything else felt. My classes this semester were strategically planned out to allow me time to work at both Rainbow Floral and THE blue frog GRILL. Though working so much has been stressful at times, the support I have found by co-workers and bosses has helped me continue to grow and learn through the semester.
Graduation is in twenty-six days away and I don’t have it all figured out…but I am content with that reality. I have found a beautiful, old studio apartment just a few blocks from downtown Marshall. I will continue to work full-time at THE blue frog GRILL and two days a week at Rainbow Floral. For the next year, I will be continuing education on my own by completing the “The One-Year, Self-Directed, Alternative Graduate School Experience .” Read more about it here: http://ramblingsofagirlchasinggod.blogspot.com/2011/04/one-year-self-directed-alternative.html.
As usual, I close with thanks. I am increasingly thankful for those in my life that constantly influence my growth, both through my time in college and before. I will continue writing these letters to all of you, because this is not my story alone. This story holds a piece of each of you. The love, time, advice and support you have given to me has been deeply woven into the story of who I am and who I am daily becoming. I thank God for each of your presence in my life. I hope each of you sees the part God has given you as my time in college has unfurled. And I hope I have been able to bless and serve you in one way or another.
Love and more blessings than I can count,
Jackie
As I sit down to write this story every year, it becomes increasingly more difficult to sum up the year’s events in just a short letter. I finished my last letter with hopes of moving home to work at a flower shop in Houston. Due to various circumstances, I was needed at the flower shop I currently worked at so I decided to spend the summer in Marshall. I spent about half of the summer housesitting and the other half living with friends. It was a summer that hinted at what it would be like to live alone and work 40+ hours a week. I began a relationship that would teach me more life lessons than I could have every anticipated.
As the fall semester began, I started my final year of college. Three years had flown by and I was now wrapping up the loose ends of my time at East Texas Baptist University. I also got engaged in the fall. It was a busy time of taking a full course load, working three jobs, and planning a wedding. Any of you who saw me knows how crazy my days were and how little time I had to sit and relax. It was this fall that I realized God called us to take a Sabbath. He was trying to tell me to rest in Him and trust that He would lead me to accomplish the things I was called to do. I finished the fall semester in school and started working at an amazing restaurant, THE blue frog GRILL. I had no clue the impact this job and the people at this place would make on my life.
Christmas break was an incredible and heartbreaking time. Joey and I called off our engagement. Looking back on this moment, I don’t understand why I was so embarrassed to call friends and family to break the news. It felt like we were failing and every person who said we were “too young” or got engaged “too soon,” were all right. I now realize that by beginning this conversation, Joey was being brave and responsible. It was the hardest experience I have ever gone through and to go through it with a man who I had hoped to spend my life was excruciating. We were friends for years before and the dynamic of our relationship was forever changed. I spent the rest of Christmas break starting to repair my life and move in a positive direction. This consisted of a weekend at a friend’s ranch, time on my sister’s couch, long talks at Starbucks, and lots of being alone, listening to my iPod and journaling my thoughts and prayers.
Coming back to ETBU for my final semester was the most difficult adjustment I have had to make since beginning college three years ago. I had to start breaking to news to people on campus and learning how to reshape and plan the future that was quickly approaching after graduation. Kayla and Sarah spent many evenings reassuring me that God had a plan, regardless of how crazy everything else felt. My classes this semester were strategically planned out to allow me time to work at both Rainbow Floral and THE blue frog GRILL. Though working so much has been stressful at times, the support I have found by co-workers and bosses has helped me continue to grow and learn through the semester.
Graduation is in twenty-six days away and I don’t have it all figured out…but I am content with that reality. I have found a beautiful, old studio apartment just a few blocks from downtown Marshall. I will continue to work full-time at THE blue frog GRILL and two days a week at Rainbow Floral. For the next year, I will be continuing education on my own by completing the “The One-Year, Self-Directed, Alternative Graduate School Experience .” Read more about it here: http://ramblingsofagirlchasinggod.blogspot.com/2011/04/one-year-self-directed-alternative.html.
As usual, I close with thanks. I am increasingly thankful for those in my life that constantly influence my growth, both through my time in college and before. I will continue writing these letters to all of you, because this is not my story alone. This story holds a piece of each of you. The love, time, advice and support you have given to me has been deeply woven into the story of who I am and who I am daily becoming. I thank God for each of your presence in my life. I hope each of you sees the part God has given you as my time in college has unfurled. And I hope I have been able to bless and serve you in one way or another.
Love and more blessings than I can count,
Jackie
Thursday, April 7, 2011
The One-Year, Self-Directed, Alternative Graduate School Experience
(All credit to Chris Guillebeau, creator of the online manifesto “A Brief Guide to World Domination”. http://chrisguillebeau.com/3×5/)
The One-Year, Self-Directed, Alternative Graduate School
Experience Subscribe to the Economist and read every issue religiously. Cost: $97 + 60 minutes each week.
Memorize the names of every country, world capital, and current president or prime minister in the world. Cost: $0 + 3-4 hours once.
Buy a round-the-world plane ticket or use frequent flyer miles to travel to several major world regions, including somewhere in Africa and somewhere in Asia. Cost: variable, but plan on $4,000.
Read the basic texts of the major world religions: the Torah, the New Testament, the Koran, and the teachings of Buddha. Visit a church, a mosque, a synagogue, and a temple. Cost: materials can be obtained free online or in the mail (or for less than $50) + 20 hours.
Subscribe to a language-learning podcast and listen to each 20-minute episode, five times a week, for the entire year. Attend a local language club once a week to practice. Cost: $0 + 87 hours.
Loan money to an entrepreneur through Kiva.org and arrange to visit him or her while you’re abroad on your big trip. Cost: likely $0 in the end, since 98% of loans are repaid.
Acquire at least three new skills during your year. Suggestion: photgraphy, skydiving, computer programming, martial arts. The key is not to become an expert in any of them, but to become funcionally proficient. Cost: variable, but each skill is probably less than three credits of tuition would be a university.
Read at least 30 nonfiction books and 20 classic novels. Cost: approximately $750 (can be reduced or eliminated by using the library).
Join a gym or health club to keep fit during your rigorous independent studies. Cost: $25-$75 a month.
Become comfortable with basic presentation and public speaking skills. Join your local Toastmasters club to get constructive, structured help that is beginner-friendly. Cost: $25 once + 2 hours a wek for 10 weeks.
Start a blog, create a basic posting schedule, and stick with it fo the entire year. You can get a free blog at WordPress.org. One tip: don’t try to write every day. Set a weekly or biweekly schedule for a while, and if you’re still enjoying it after three months, pick up the pace. Cost: $0.
Set your home page to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Randompage. Over the next year, every time you open your browser, you’ll see a different, random Wikipedia page. Read it. Cost: $0.
Learn to write by listening to the Grammar Girl podcast on iTunes and buying Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. Cost: $0 for Grammar Girl, $14 for Anne Lamott.
Instead of reading the entire Encyclopedia Britannica, read The Know-It-All by A. J. Jacobs, a good summary. Cost: $15.
I will be making my own changes to the above as I decide which parts of the study are most important to me. I will slowly figure out the exact specifications of the things I will study.
The One-Year, Self-Directed, Alternative Graduate School
Experience Subscribe to the Economist and read every issue religiously. Cost: $97 + 60 minutes each week.
Memorize the names of every country, world capital, and current president or prime minister in the world. Cost: $0 + 3-4 hours once.
Buy a round-the-world plane ticket or use frequent flyer miles to travel to several major world regions, including somewhere in Africa and somewhere in Asia. Cost: variable, but plan on $4,000.
Read the basic texts of the major world religions: the Torah, the New Testament, the Koran, and the teachings of Buddha. Visit a church, a mosque, a synagogue, and a temple. Cost: materials can be obtained free online or in the mail (or for less than $50) + 20 hours.
Subscribe to a language-learning podcast and listen to each 20-minute episode, five times a week, for the entire year. Attend a local language club once a week to practice. Cost: $0 + 87 hours.
Loan money to an entrepreneur through Kiva.org and arrange to visit him or her while you’re abroad on your big trip. Cost: likely $0 in the end, since 98% of loans are repaid.
Acquire at least three new skills during your year. Suggestion: photgraphy, skydiving, computer programming, martial arts. The key is not to become an expert in any of them, but to become funcionally proficient. Cost: variable, but each skill is probably less than three credits of tuition would be a university.
Read at least 30 nonfiction books and 20 classic novels. Cost: approximately $750 (can be reduced or eliminated by using the library).
Join a gym or health club to keep fit during your rigorous independent studies. Cost: $25-$75 a month.
Become comfortable with basic presentation and public speaking skills. Join your local Toastmasters club to get constructive, structured help that is beginner-friendly. Cost: $25 once + 2 hours a wek for 10 weeks.
Start a blog, create a basic posting schedule, and stick with it fo the entire year. You can get a free blog at WordPress.org. One tip: don’t try to write every day. Set a weekly or biweekly schedule for a while, and if you’re still enjoying it after three months, pick up the pace. Cost: $0.
Set your home page to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Randompage. Over the next year, every time you open your browser, you’ll see a different, random Wikipedia page. Read it. Cost: $0.
Learn to write by listening to the Grammar Girl podcast on iTunes and buying Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. Cost: $0 for Grammar Girl, $14 for Anne Lamott.
Instead of reading the entire Encyclopedia Britannica, read The Know-It-All by A. J. Jacobs, a good summary. Cost: $15.
I will be making my own changes to the above as I decide which parts of the study are most important to me. I will slowly figure out the exact specifications of the things I will study.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
A (Not So) Sweet Goodnight Prayer
This is my prayer. For you. For me. For all of mankind.
The Franciscan Benediction
May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships,
So that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.
May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger, and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain to joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done,
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.
Amen
The Franciscan Benediction
May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships,
So that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.
May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger, and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain to joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done,
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.
Amen
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Grad School App. Essay. Homework. Crafts. New Books.
The title has nothing to do with this post, but rather things that have had a part in my Tuesday day. It was a very successful day. (Until I just realized I still have to walk outside and get my clothes out of the dryer. Though you will not notice that I have stepped away from the computer due to the very "present" feel of anything read online, I would appreciate a moment of pause to consider that I am now stepping outside into the freezing weather to grab fluffy clothes from the laundry room.)
Brrr...It is cold out there.
I write today about my experience at the grocery store and how God has been pressing on my heart the important things in life, such as sustainable energy, water and food sources. He has been reminding me that he blessed me with a wonderful planet to live on and abusing that resource is no more validated than it is to abuse anything else He has given me/us. This reality comes with the both the weight of making changes in way I choose to live my life and also the urge to pretend I don't understand the injustices of our current way of living and continuing in the ways of the present.
When grocery shopping at Walmart today, I hoped to buy a few fall/winter root vegetables and make "Roasted Root Vegetables" and Asparagus with my broiled Lemon Garlic Salmon. As I walked the "produce" section of the store, I found three types of potatoes. Three. I was absolutely amazed and quite annoyed. I continued on my journey in search of fresh herbs to cook with and found four fresh herbs in the produce section. Four. I am very aware there is a spice aisle, but I was hoping to put some fresh ingredients in tonight's dinner. Lastly, I went to grab some butter, where I found twenty-plus different kinds of butter. TWENTY.
It was in this trip to the grocery store that I was reminded of my desire to more to a town with a Farmer's Market and other sustainable resources to buy groceries from. I am tired of packaged food. God has never packaged food. I realize it is sometimes necessary, but it is not necessary for every food item in the refrigerator to be in a container of some sort. I want to move somewhere that I am not looked at strangely for carrying a refillable cup everyday. I want
to reuse cloth grocery bags. I want to cut back on the unneccesary resources I use on a daily basis. I want to do more good than bad.
That is my desire. That is the driving force moving me after graduation. Not a salary, but a passion to pursue God's heart through the respect and sincere joy of living in the creation that He allows me to experience every day. I want to experience the world He has given me.
" O God, I beg two favors from you;
let me have them before I die.
First, help me never to tell a lie.
Second, give me neither poverty nor riches!
Give me just enough to satisfy my needs.
For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?”
And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name." -Proverbs 30:7-9
Brrr...It is cold out there.
I write today about my experience at the grocery store and how God has been pressing on my heart the important things in life, such as sustainable energy, water and food sources. He has been reminding me that he blessed me with a wonderful planet to live on and abusing that resource is no more validated than it is to abuse anything else He has given me/us. This reality comes with the both the weight of making changes in way I choose to live my life and also the urge to pretend I don't understand the injustices of our current way of living and continuing in the ways of the present.
When grocery shopping at Walmart today, I hoped to buy a few fall/winter root vegetables and make "Roasted Root Vegetables" and Asparagus with my broiled Lemon Garlic Salmon. As I walked the "produce" section of the store, I found three types of potatoes. Three. I was absolutely amazed and quite annoyed. I continued on my journey in search of fresh herbs to cook with and found four fresh herbs in the produce section. Four. I am very aware there is a spice aisle, but I was hoping to put some fresh ingredients in tonight's dinner. Lastly, I went to grab some butter, where I found twenty-plus different kinds of butter. TWENTY.
It was in this trip to the grocery store that I was reminded of my desire to more to a town with a Farmer's Market and other sustainable resources to buy groceries from. I am tired of packaged food. God has never packaged food. I realize it is sometimes necessary, but it is not necessary for every food item in the refrigerator to be in a container of some sort. I want to move somewhere that I am not looked at strangely for carrying a refillable cup everyday. I want
to reuse cloth grocery bags. I want to cut back on the unneccesary resources I use on a daily basis. I want to do more good than bad.
That is my desire. That is the driving force moving me after graduation. Not a salary, but a passion to pursue God's heart through the respect and sincere joy of living in the creation that He allows me to experience every day. I want to experience the world He has given me.
" O God, I beg two favors from you;
let me have them before I die.
First, help me never to tell a lie.
Second, give me neither poverty nor riches!
Give me just enough to satisfy my needs.
For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?”
And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name." -Proverbs 30:7-9
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Coffeehouse Tunes, Late Nights & Future Roadtrips
Anyone who reads my online writing often knows that every May brings a "end of the academic year" post.
The past few days, the idea of writing another just fourteen weeks from now is terrifying. These posts consist of an update of what I have been up to since the previous May and what I am planning to do with my summer. I have even considered pretending that my life fell into a black hole and ceased to exist from May to December. That would be nice. At this point, I would also have to leave off my "summer" plans. They are no longer plans for a summer, but the beginning of plans for my life. And I'm not really sure where that is taking me right now.
[Monday, January 10, 2011]
"I start to worry how all of this will turn out,but remember that God is so faithful. He holds my existance in the palm of his hand. God, thank you for being big and perfect. For holding my life together when nothing makes sense to me. I praise you for your perfection and sovereignty. Thank you for the peace you instill in my heart. For comforting me. For already knowing the plans of my life. I find such peace and comfort in knowing you are not botherd by worrying at the unfolding of all of this. You are beautiful. Perfect. All powerful. All knowing. The Great Comforter. My friend. My father. Thank you. I love you."
God is blessing me this weekened with a little trip to relax in a town I may one day call home.
The past few days, the idea of writing another just fourteen weeks from now is terrifying. These posts consist of an update of what I have been up to since the previous May and what I am planning to do with my summer. I have even considered pretending that my life fell into a black hole and ceased to exist from May to December. That would be nice. At this point, I would also have to leave off my "summer" plans. They are no longer plans for a summer, but the beginning of plans for my life. And I'm not really sure where that is taking me right now.
For a current update, an entry from your trusty Moleskine journal:
[Monday, January 10, 2011]
"I start to worry how all of this will turn out,but remember that God is so faithful. He holds my existance in the palm of his hand. God, thank you for being big and perfect. For holding my life together when nothing makes sense to me. I praise you for your perfection and sovereignty. Thank you for the peace you instill in my heart. For comforting me. For already knowing the plans of my life. I find such peace and comfort in knowing you are not botherd by worrying at the unfolding of all of this. You are beautiful. Perfect. All powerful. All knowing. The Great Comforter. My friend. My father. Thank you. I love you."
Want to know how my life feels?
Listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4TBarr5l9k
Amy Stroup- Backed Into The Corner.
God is blessing me this weekened with a little trip to relax in a town I may one day call home.
Wish me luck.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Shoeboxes and Phone Calls
James Morrison - "Pieces Don't Fit Anymore"
That is my anthem of this break. Oh, does it hurt, but its one of those songs where another person wrote words that describe exactly how I feel. Its such a good feeling. To look for words to describe something, then hear a song that is every single thought you have had.
There is a line/word in that song that captures how I have been feeling of late: "It's time to surrender...its been too long pretending. Its no use in trying, when the pieces don't fit anymore."
That is a sobering line. It hurts and feels so freeing. Merriam Webster defines surrender as "to give one self up into the power of another."
That is what happened over this break. I was broken. My whole world and life plans seemed to fall all around. I had to surrender. I tried to hold the pieces and put them back together as they were all crumbling. And I was breaking, as well.
So, I surrendered. I cried out to God with a broken heart. I got to a point with no hope, no light, no future. It was so heavy, I didn't know how to get out from underneath it. But God was there. With a beautiful feeling of hope. I new kind of hope I have experience. It was not a sunshiny, happy hope. It was hope that I could survive. That He would help me get out of bed. That He knew where I would be 6 months from now. It was this still quiet voice that said, "I know. I know, it hurts. I have a plan. I promise. Shhh....its okay.I am here. I love you. You are not broken. I am here. I am your Father and I love you so so much."
This is the experience I woke up to on Christmas morning. I would not have wished for it. It hurt so much. But God has blessed me with two weeks of healing. To be home and with family. To not talk about things. To be with old friends. To cry about everything.
Currently, he has given me the amazing man I call my friend, Joey. We are learning some very hard lessons from this experience. I don't know about him, but I'm struggling through a lot of tears. We are talking out our pain and fears and dreams....we are healing. The last thing I want is for him to end up the "bad guy." He is such a wonderful friend to me. I am literally heartbroken that we got to this point, but I believe God has a plan for each of us. Joey will make an amazing husband to a woman some day. In a way like never before, I truly wish someone well as we part ways in life. I can't wait to see where God takes each of us.
I know we will look back on all of this and smile at what we thought it was, but praise God for his perfection in shaping us into just what He wants us to be.
God is so wonderful. He is teaching us every single day. We are learning to lean on him, rather than anyone else. It is such a sweet time.
That is my anthem of this break. Oh, does it hurt, but its one of those songs where another person wrote words that describe exactly how I feel. Its such a good feeling. To look for words to describe something, then hear a song that is every single thought you have had.
There is a line/word in that song that captures how I have been feeling of late: "It's time to surrender...its been too long pretending. Its no use in trying, when the pieces don't fit anymore."
That is a sobering line. It hurts and feels so freeing. Merriam Webster defines surrender as "to give one self up into the power of another."
That is what happened over this break. I was broken. My whole world and life plans seemed to fall all around. I had to surrender. I tried to hold the pieces and put them back together as they were all crumbling. And I was breaking, as well.
So, I surrendered. I cried out to God with a broken heart. I got to a point with no hope, no light, no future. It was so heavy, I didn't know how to get out from underneath it. But God was there. With a beautiful feeling of hope. I new kind of hope I have experience. It was not a sunshiny, happy hope. It was hope that I could survive. That He would help me get out of bed. That He knew where I would be 6 months from now. It was this still quiet voice that said, "I know. I know, it hurts. I have a plan. I promise. Shhh....its okay.I am here. I love you. You are not broken. I am here. I am your Father and I love you so so much."
This is the experience I woke up to on Christmas morning. I would not have wished for it. It hurt so much. But God has blessed me with two weeks of healing. To be home and with family. To not talk about things. To be with old friends. To cry about everything.
Currently, he has given me the amazing man I call my friend, Joey. We are learning some very hard lessons from this experience. I don't know about him, but I'm struggling through a lot of tears. We are talking out our pain and fears and dreams....we are healing. The last thing I want is for him to end up the "bad guy." He is such a wonderful friend to me. I am literally heartbroken that we got to this point, but I believe God has a plan for each of us. Joey will make an amazing husband to a woman some day. In a way like never before, I truly wish someone well as we part ways in life. I can't wait to see where God takes each of us.
I know we will look back on all of this and smile at what we thought it was, but praise God for his perfection in shaping us into just what He wants us to be.
God is so wonderful. He is teaching us every single day. We are learning to lean on him, rather than anyone else. It is such a sweet time.
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