God was just making sure I was paying attention. I get it...He is absolutely and totally in charge of my life. As this semester comes to an end, I am having the realization that I am just months away from walking across that stage and no longer being a student. Wow.
Just weeks after that, I will stand on the next important stage of life and vow to spend the rest of my life with a wonderful man, in front of all of our friends and family. I am caught off guard by how God is so wonderfully and all-knowingly in control of every aspect of my life. I cannot believe He brought me to this wonderful man.
The way I know this is love, you ask? Joey challenges me every single day, and I him. God is using him to make me a more complete person. I don't believe God brought Joey into my life to complete me but to daily hold a mirror in front of my face and say, "Look at who you are. You are not an island. You actions affect those around you. You are held responsible to more than just yourself." Its such a beautiful/painful/amazing/awful/exhausting/worthwhile process. I can't run away from life. I can't drop out of college when it gets hard. I can't just quit. This isn't a pet or a childhood playmate. This is a forever bond.
As each day passes, Joey and I begin to realize what that means. I don't think one can really understand the realities of forever until it begins to fall into place. Of course I think about our wedding day, but I no longer day dream of that day. I day dream of eating dinner on the couch together after painfully long days at work. I day dream of trying to convince each other that "its your turn to wash the dishes!!" I day dream of the simple blessing of being less than 6 hours away from this wonderful man. Some mornings, when Joey calls to wake me up for class, I am caught of guard and I will say something silly such as, "Joey, in five months we are going to wake up and get ready for work together. And come home to the same place at the end of the day. That's crazy. I wish it were today."
There is no doubt in my mind that this beautiful relationship is a gift placed in my hands my God himself. He has loaned me his very unique loved one and asked me to care for him. He has asked me to worry more about his needs than my own. He has asked me to love him more than I love myself. Most of all, God has ask me to follow this man and trust that He will lead Joey in every step of the way. I can stand and say I love and trust God's will, but its when he asks me to put my future in the hands of a soldier that the rubber hits the road.
I hope and wish and pray and strive to be worthy of this. If I try every single day, I never will be. As God granted me the beautiful gift of salvation that I can never earn, God has given me another gift I couldn't have earned or been good enough to deserve. But God's grace is all-covering. He took two broken, unworthy people and said, "Love him/her. My grace covers all of your past flaws. I will be here. I will protect you. I will guide you. Don't follow your own path, but mine. I am holding you. This is the person to walk with through this life."
My prayer: I pray that we are a glimpse of God's love and grace into the lives of those who encounter us. I pray we learn to love each other more the way that Christ first loved us, while we were still sinners.
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